Letters may be edited
slightly to correct spelling or to
clarify meaning. We do not include
email addresses but you must let us
know how you wish your letter to be
signed. Opinions expressed are those
of the writer and not necessarily
those of NAMBLA. Letters are published
in a spirit of free expression of
ideas even if opinions differ from those
of NAMBLA. However, only letters containing
language of a courteous and civil tone will
be considered.
* * *
December 25, 2023
I have been aware of NAMBLA for decades. Back in the 90's I don't
think I ever heard anything positive about NAMBLA and I think many of
those old negative belief's I remember hearing back then, continue
today.
It has taken me awhile to find myself at your cyber doorstep.
Afterall, it is taboo to even speak with anyone who could view a young
person as we do.
I worked for two decades in the prison system before I decided to
leave law enforcement altogether. I saw many men in prison for sex
crimes against children, and some were indeed criminal, heinous acts
and punishment was warranted.
When I worked in prison I made a point not to read too many files as I
found they would only lay out the bare facts of a case as it relates
to the law that was broken. The file would not delve into the
possibility of any actions being between two consenting individuals
because it had no relevance as a defense under the law. One party
doesn't have the right to decide who they can invite into their lives
because they aren't mature enough. And the other party is just a
disgusting freak who should know better.
That sums up, in a nutshell, where the criminal justice system is on
this subject.
I grew up in a home that was void of feelings and emotions. Hugs were
rare and I was generally neglected. Around the time I was 8 years old
I was given my own TV, which in the 80's was a real luxury for a kid.
And that TV raised me from that point forward.
I already struggled with making friends and I spent a ridiculous
amount of time by myself. I even stopped asking to have birthday
parties because I couldn't get anyone to come. So my path to self
isolation began.
I would learn many years later that I had been molested by a family
member when I was 2 or 3 which created the foundation for my trust
issues with people. My molestation was a crime, it was not consensual
and brutal enough that I managed to suppress this event through
disassociation. Fragments would come back over time and eventually I
had enough of the story to know the truth.
I would also experience homophobia and bullying from dozens of
tormentors in my grade 8 year. I was labelled as gay, and told to go
kill myself most days. What was worse was I didn't want to be gay and
I did everything I could to prove otherwise, culminating in me
becoming a white supremacist in grade 11 and 12. I'm not proud of
that, but it happened.
It was dark times and my light was beaten out of me. I was too
stubborn to kill myself, but in retrospect I should have. I didn't
even come to accept I was gay until after high school and even then I
didn't want it to be true. I managed to program myself with self
hatred and internalized homophobia that I was never able to make close
connections, and in fact, I have lost every connection and live in
complete isolation. Surprisingly I am not lonely. Being alone is all I
know.
I find it painfully ironic that I am again at the door of another self
truth that I have been programmed to hate. I cannot use words that are
clinical or negative in nature for what I am. I have longed to be with
a young man for a long time. Age is not really a consideration for me,
beyond the law that is. I have found myself attracted to a wide range
of ages, in the teenage years. I often wondered if my attraction was
because I never once got to experiment with any other boys when I was
that age. All I got to do was repress and hate. I have never tried to
initiate anything with a younger person and in fact I go out of my way
to avoid areas of potential temptation. That said, I have recently
admitted to myself that if a young man made a move on me, I don't
think I would be able to say no.
During my school years, even though I didn't accept that I was gay, I
knew there was interest in the other boys. I had a huge crush on
(let's call him) Steve. Steve was short, and I have a thing for short
guys. He had a perfect apple butt and a set of the most adorable
dimples you've ever seen. Steve and I had gym class together in grade
9. I was over the moon excited because I would finally get the chance
to see him naked because we would have to shower after gym. That boy
kept his goods under lock and key because In the enter year I only saw
his butt once, for two seconds! But that image was burned into my mind
and I have thought of that moment in time, often. Steve had been a
good friend, but I ended our friendship because I was in love with
him, and being that close to someone that would never feel the same
way about me, made me wish for death.
To help people understand what life was like for me I would provide
the following scenario. I would ask my straight co-workers how they
would have felt getting naked at that age, in a room filled with
people you are attracted to, and then get yourself to not look at
anyone for more than just a blink. Most importantly, never, ever think
anything remotely sexual to prevent the dreaded boner and being
discovered and (in those days) potentially killed. Most of my
coworkers said they hadn't thought about it, but agreed it must have
been hard. Pun intended.
All that repression probably did a number on my spirit. Being gay was
bad enough and I treated that element of myself accordingly, very
poorly. I denied myself every possible encounter when I was young
because I didn't want to be gay. Decades later, I'm gay, but I still
can't fully act on my desires because law is arbitrary. I am left to
fantasize, and I only recently gave myself permission to explore those
thoughts.
The most helpful thing to happen as of late was finally getting the
nerve to look at your webpage. I agreed with what your organization
stands for but most of all, seeing letters from young men, who also
want to experience a connection with an older man helped me feel a
little bit better. I don't feel like the disgusting freak, because
there is potentially a young person out there who would want to be
with me. I feel like there are loved ones out there and they are
trapped behind a wall, we can see them, but we cannot touch them.
I will say this though, in my experience, the vast majority of the
people who support age of consent laws are almost exclusively parents
and church goers. I have found people who do not have children, view
sexuality in a more fluid way, judging each individual on their own
merits. Age is not the consideration, but the maturity level is. I
have met some 14 year old's that were more sexually mature than some
people in their 20's. Everyone is different, and some people are ready
sooner. I know I was masturbating when I was 9 and I was more than
ready for everything else by 12. I was ready for it, if not for
internalized hatred that made me repress everything I am.
It seems as though I am cursed to live on the fringes of society.
Maybe I will never know love. I am reasonably certain that there will
never be a significant change in how society views the subject.
Haven't you noticed the hypocrisy how people view the subject? Some
scenarios are the worst thing ever while others are akin to nothing
more than a joke. For example:
An underage female student with a older male teacher is abuse.
A younger male student engaged in a sexual relationship with a male
teacher is abuse.
A younger male student engaged in a sexual relationship with an older
female teacher is seen more as a triumph - it's usually the moms that
take issue, the dads are patting the kid on the back and offering them
a beer. Even Saturday Night Live made a funny skit about this idea
with Pete Davidson. The skit made me laugh, because it was very true.
Thanks for listening.
E.S.
Our reply
Dear E. S.
(The writer sadly refers to himself as "estinguished soul")
Your letter is so touching that it hurts me to the core to read of your
pain. We have all had similar experiences, but many of us have had much
more supportive parents and friends who helped us endure the emotional
suffering you are expressing.
We are not normally set up for therapeutic assistance because the very
act of putting out our positive ideas, a kind of activism so to speak,
has been a form of self-help.
It is my hope that you can begin resurrecting your soul in the manner
you just did by writing us. We would like to publish your letter, but
its poignancy requires more than our letters page. Your clear and
excellently written letter is a very likely way of helping others in
similar situations. To this end, are you willing for us to establish a
new page where you, from time to time, can add to your developing
feelings? Nothing identifying you should ever be included, as we hew to
absolute privacy. Perhaps, in such an exercise, others will also share
their feelings and ways to cope.
I sincerely hope you will agree to some form of my suggestion.
Peter
Note: In reponse, though the writer does not feel up to committing
to our suggestion right now, he is nevertheless open to the idea when he
can bring himself to write again. Meanwhile, anyone who feels he can help
others with his own coping experiences is welcome to write us.
* * *
November 26, 2023
Dear NAMBLA
I wish to remain anonymous. I need your advice. I am not from the US but I still want your advice. I don't know how to begin. I have always known that I am gay since childhood. Until when I was 14 I noticed that I became more attracted to minors, in particular with boys. I couldn't talk to anybody about my feelings as my school friends would ostracise me. But it did not matter as I felt more alienated by my friends as I could no longer relate to them, and so I became more isolated and withdrawn from my social circles.
My mental health became a problem and I indulged in self harm as a way to cope. That was until I met this 11-year-old pupil at school when I was 15. We had a friendship with homosexual overtones.Unfortunately Our secret was found out and I was denounced as a pervert at school. No charges, but everybody at school turned against me I never heard of this word before but everyone called me a "paedophile". I looked up the word, and it best described what I am. I am a pedophile.
After I left school I kept my paedophilic tendencies a secret. I fell into depression and started drinking to suppress it all. Unfortunately as the years go by my mental health declined to the point of getting help. I went to see a psychiatrist for an assessment for therapy. The psychiatrist asked if I was a pedophile. In which I denied. I got help and was diagnosed with mental health conditions. I got aftercare and help with my mental health conditions and cleaned up and sober. But I still have one major problem. I still have paedophilic tendencies for boys.
Sadly my mental health is declining again. I am getting help for it and I have relapsed into self harm again. Because my peadophlic tendencies are stronger than ever I want to get help and I am making an appointment to see a psychiatrist for an assessment for treatment. Must I tell the psychiatrist the truth that I am a pedophile. I am so scared of the repercussions of my actions if I do. I have thought of suicide as an option incase of any of this comes out to my family. I need help and advice in hoe to approach this problem of mine.
Yours
Anonymous.
Our reply
Dear Anonymous,
From what you write, there is nothing wrong with you. What is actually wrong is the judgment of your society. This assessment may not make you immediately feel better, but perhaps, as you think about it, it will help you begin to accept yourself.
We are all born with a combination of characteristics unique to each individual. These make up the essence of who we are and cannot change. Trying to do so will only cause great unhappiness.
For most people, those characteristics combine to work well in society. But other orientations or ways of feeling, unfamiliar to the majority, have often been wrongfully seen as bad or evil.
Before going on, please understand that we do not advise breaking any laws of your country relating to your attraction no matter how much we may disagree with some of these laws.
That said, thoughts and feelings, in any decent society, cannot be criminalized. Your feelings belong to you and should be shared only with those whom you deeply trust. Having no one with whom to share these feelings makes it very difficult to live an emotionally satisfying life. But know that there is a huge number of individuals who like you despair alone. But perhaps knowing this, you can begin to feel freer and abandon the condemnation you have internalized.
In a more accepting society, those attracted to minors can make great teachers and mentors. There is plenty of proof for this, but what is true is not always accepted.
Please do not believe the nonsense that is called “pedophilia.” Many who profess to wrongfully label attraction to minors are the same type who hundreds of years ago professed to know how to identify witches.
They never existed, and you definitely are not a witch. From the troubled caring you express, there is no doubt that you surely are a wonderful person.
* * *
November 18, 2023
The following letter expresses a truth that many will recognize. The writer gives his full name. We however never publish any identifying element that could violate the privacy of those sharing the same name and similar situations. In this case, the first name "Andrej" is not that of the signee who provided his full name as well as other information that could identify others with similar identifiers. We have therefor changed those as well without altering the poignancy of the letter.
Hello,
My name is Adrej. I am a 25-year old Serbian living in another European country. When people see me, they see a successful entrepreneur, a good son that always does what he's supposed to. That is all they see, because I have had to hide who I truly am for so long. And what I truly love. And what I truly want in life.
Dear Society,
In the shadows of societal norms, I navigate a forbidden love that defies the laws you've imposed on matters of the heart. Since childhood, I've harbored these feelings, an indomitable flame sparked by forces beyond my control—the magnetic pull of love that transcends your predefined boundaries.
This clandestine connection, born in the crucible of understanding, refuses to be extinguished. The stolen glances and unspoken words etch themselves into the fabric of my existence, testaments to a love deemed illicit by your statutes. The weight of your condemnation is palpable, as we navigate a world where the authenticity of our emotions is reduced to a transgression.
The arbitrary nature of these laws casts a shadow on the sanctity of our emotions, challenging the universal truth that love, at its core, is a force for good. I yearn for a society that celebrates the complexity of love, acknowledging its inability to be confined within narrow corridors of legislation.
In the meantime, this forbidden love, nurtured since childhood, persists—an unwavering flame that, despite your censure, burns brighter each passing day.
My name is Andrej. I refuse to be silent anymore.
---
It would make me happy to see this letter on your "letters" section. Please sign it:
(Acual name omitted.)
"Free and proud"
Thank you for all your work. I truly believe that - because of your work - one day me, and those who harbor the same feelings of love and lust for life, will live in a more free and just society.
* * *
November 11, 2023
The exchanges below come after some earlier emails we received from BD. The responses were meant to clarify our positions. We welcome all questions or suggestions that are sincerely presented.
Hello BD,
Please read our responses interspersed between your questions.
"Hi,
"I have had a huge think of what you said and also looking at your content."
Your effort is very much appreciated!
"So from what I understand, it seems like Nambla is misunderstood. How does Nambla deal with all the negative reviews or try to prove society nambla is not evil or try to get on societies good side?"
'Society' encompasses a huge number of people, and your question implies that all of society misunderstands NAMBLA and what it stands for. We have plenty of evidence that a good segment of society does understand and supports our position but with many fearful of going against the "herd." The societal elements that do support our position have a much more nuanced and sophisticate understanding of human nature and how a less hateful society might better function.
To give an example, during the period that slavery in America was widely supported, a significant segment of "white" American society saw how wrong slavery was. Though slavery has long been abolished, many of its consequential harms still exist. You will surely, on your own, think of other examples where harmful societal notions slowly turned around for the better.
All we can do is to constantly maintain an ethical position of what we know is right and expect that societal misconceptions will eventually lose their hold on the wider society.
"Another thing I found on page says is NAMBLA has consistently highlighted injustices and harm in age of consent laws. Instead of protecting young people, these laws have done the very opposite. But would you mind explaining more how why it does the opposite or how age of consent laws cause harm so I have more understanding?"
When completely consenting relationships are discovered, not only are both parties harmed by the criminal process that follows but so are the extended families harmed. The younger partner is made to feel worthless in a number of ways, including the denial of his sexual identity and the falsely imparted belief that he broke religious tenets, family values etc.
"I have read some letters, do every letter you receive get published or not and will you be adding more letters?"
We can publish this current exchange if you wish and tell us how you want to be identified.
"Does Nambla consider having a YouTube channel or Facebook page to spread awareness? Or explore ways on how to get more people to support your work? Like would Nambla get more support if it makes it clear that sexual abuse is wrong and try to highlight the difference between loving someone and abusing someone?"
Of course, sexual abuse is not only wrong but abhorrent. Where on our site did you read otherwise? Our website has a lot of content and we would appreciate your pointing out any item that could be misconstrued as implying the wrong idea.
(In a subsequent response to the above, BD clarified: "I was only suggesting that Nambla makes that more clear..." We think that this is an excellent point, the solution of which is currently being explored.)
We are not keen on social media that have control on which organizations may have a voice. Have you seen our ChatGPT article illustrating how ideas and opinions are easily controlled?
"Has Nambla ever considered adding a MAP section on the webpage to educate people about MAPs and also explain how it is beneficial to society?"
NAMBLA needs to limit itself to what it knows and is familiar with. Humanity is very diverse and is comprised of many different orientations that can benefit and enrich the human mosaic. All those who have an ethical framework for acceptance in the wider society need to individually make their case. A single organization cannot take on multiple roles, but it can morally support all sincere efforts at gaining understanding and acceptance.
Though the world pays lip service to diversity, too many people fear it and find comfort in the homogeneity they are familiar with.
* * *
July 25, 2023
I'm a 14 year old boy I've never heard of your organization up until recently and I've always fantasized about being in a relation with a older person the closest I had to that was going Omegle on video chats and doing stuff with them but it was always temporary but I want a relation that isn't just a 15 minute video chat so that's why I'm here.
David
Our reply:
Hi David,
It looks like you have the wrong impression of NAMBLA's mission. It speaks for a change in attitudes regarding youthful sexuality but does not introduce individuals, of any age, to each other for sexual purposes. Though you used the word "relation" it is hard to imagine that it merely implied a Platonic one. Even Platonic relationships, in today's contentious social environment, would easily prompt unjust accusations.
Laws may ultimately change allowing for freer agency, but until then we strongly counsel against breaking current laws.
* * *
July 16, 2023
Dear Sirs:
I read the letter from Lana dated July 4 , 2023 in the letters section of your website.
I do not have much to say regarding her letter except to say that it seems people are always looking for a boogeyman in your organization and beliefs that just is not there.
What got my attention more than anything in her letter was your response to her. The last paragraph of your response was perfect.
I was adopted in 1956 by a gay man and he and his partner raised me in a loving home. I had a wonderful and idyllic childhood that I recall fondly to this day. Dad owned two different bathhouses and you might think that would not be an appropriate environment to expose a young boy to but I was never approached for sex by anyone.
I hung around there quite a bit in my teens and I always enjoyed talking to the guys that stopped in. Many of them were really nice and I got to know one very well. He was at least twenty years older than me and he was an amateur artist. He told me about different things and showed me how to do things. He never once even hinted at sex, he was my friend. I still have a large oil painting he did in 1972. He gave it to Dad and his partner and I inherited it when they, sadly, passed away.
The paragraph of yours that I referred to begins by saying “Men who love boys are perfectly suited for the kind of mentorship that could guide . . ." is absolutely true.
I bristle when gay men are called pedophiles or groomers or worse because I know from experience that is not true.
Thank you always for the thoughtful articles on your website.
Sincerely,
M. M.
* * *
July 4, 2023
Hi!
I know you guys are an association of man-boy love, I'm a 22 year old girl, but I´ve always been very interested in what society calls "pedophilia". I´ve done my fair bit of research over the years and every information I have found tells that it's bad and hurtful for the young.
Now, I love hearing other points of view, in my opinion, in doing so one can get a better grasp of any information, so I was wondering if I could ask you guys some questions and expose some things too, always out of my utter respect and from a curiosity filled soul.
First, i ve read through your official website, forum and some stories, but I still have the need to ask you this. I may understand that 2 out of 10 kids may find a relationship with an adult as something good and healthy, but can you deny me that power dynamics don't exist? In such an age gap, the adult will 99% of the time have more control and power than the kid, even if they say otherwise.
Now, about percentages, it has been demonstrated that adult-kid "relationships" are most of the time hurtful for the kid. Like I said, there´re always cases and cases, I understand that there may be kids as young as 12 that may be mentally mature to have relationships, but it's a really small minority, so how do you know if the kid is actually mature enough? How can you be sure you´re not actually scarring them for life?
Sexual exploration starts really young, and sexual desires usually begin at about 12 years old, but I don't personally think that having sexual desires makes you actually prepared to have them. When I was that age I did start seeing porn and, curiously, I was (and I still am kinda) actually into older men since most male kids my age where really immature and dumb, but I now know that I was not prepared for a relationship even if my hormones were in the clouds, and I'm happy that I did not have them.
Also, by talking to friends, most of them admit that males at about those ages weren't mature, (including guy friends.) So, like I said, most kids aren't prepared for relationships, and even when they have them it doesn't usually last long because of the immaturity and the fact the kid is still growing and forming views on the world... Which also means, they are easy to manipulate, even more so when it's an adult who has much more knowledge of the world and knows what to say and how to say it.
Just in case, I wanna reiterate, I'm not trying to be disrespectful or anything, just exposing what I know and searching for your points of view in this, I'd love to have a conversation or friendly discussion :)
On another topic, and I'm truly sorry if this email it's getting too long, just wanted to say that I find really interesting your website, even tho I disagree with some things you expose, I just hope you guys are true in not hurting kids. I do think people have an stigma, and "boylovers" or "pedophiles" may not be necessary hurtful if they (you guys) control themselves and don't cause harm, is normal people with normal lives... But I do condene everything that causes any harm to a kid.
(Also, sorry if there´re are errors, I´m not a native english speaker.)
Thank you so much, and I will wait for your answers.
Lana.
Our reply:
Hi Lana,
Thank you for your thoughtful email and provocative questions. Let’s examine them.
Your research tells you that “it's bad and hurtful for the young.” Had you been born several hundred years earlier, your research then would have told you that witches were real, evil and the servants of the Devil and thereby extremely harmful to all of society. “Learned” treatises were published on how to recognize witches. Reading them today, we would find these publications laughable. Societies are no less gullible today than they were in days past. Much of your information is incorrect.
Galileo Galilei escaped being burned alive for heresy by stating that the Earth was not the center of the Universe. Not that long ago it was thought that ulcers were caused by stress. It is now medically recognized that it is the H. Pylori bacterium that causes peptic ulcers. Your research will surely find many more examples of widespread ignorance. Human beings are just as prone today to accepting unproven ideas as they were in the past.
At every age, a few wise individuals understood that what most people believed was not necessarily true. The philosopher Voltaire stated as much when he said that if millions of people say a thing is true, it is not necessarily so. Even a couple of thousand years ago, learned individuals proved that the Earth was round and actually calculated its size. Most people then nevertheless maintained that it was flat. We should always be careful in uncritically accepting widely held opinions, and this care is what we see in your email.
Before examining the nature of “harm,” it is first important to understand what iatrogenic harm is. This is the type of indirect harm, for instance, that a misdiagnosis by a doctor might cause. So, when a totally consensual relationship between a minor and an adult is discovered, societal reaction is most often so severe that it does cause emotional trauma – not just to the minor but to all others in the family. That trauma is iatrogenically induced. For this reason, we counsel obeying current laws even if we believe such laws are unwise and counterproductive. In free and democratic societies, as imperfect as they may be, the best approach is to rely on reason and carefully examined data to improve social policy. This is a slow process in which we find a small role. America is still coming to terms accepting those citizens who do not seem to fit the norm and are therefore viewed as dangerous.
Concerning “power dynamics,” can you cite even a few examples where they do not exist? The most common of these are parent-child relationships. In most of these, extreme abuse does not exist. However, if you follow news reports, many such intra-family abuses do occur. By this logic, parenthood, where no doubt extreme power imbalances exist, should be criminalized. In the mid-1960s emergency room doctors began to realize that battered children brought to their clinics were not victims of “accidents” but of actual parental physical abuse. Hidden from view, and seldom subject to protection is the additional emotional abuse experienced by children in dysfunctional families. As the 1960s came to an end, the physical battering of children by toxic parents failed to capture the public imagination, but the relatively rare instances of sexual abuse did. This is not to give actual sexual abuse and domination a pass. But when society mostly ignores physical and the even mor devastating emotional abuse of children, there is something very wrong.
Your last paragraph implies that we hurt kids. We cannot speak for the small fraction of people who actually hurt kids be they toxic parents or the few who purport to love boys. All populations contain those who either by their nature or through their circumstances hurt others. Luckily, most of the world, including those whose inherent nature draws them to love boys, act in ethical ways.
You may be right that boys may mature at a different rate than girls, but that does not mean that they do not form all kinds of freely chosen bonds and friendships and freely break these bonds when the relationships fail to be satisfying. Perhaps, as your experience shows, their abilities with the opposite sex needs more time to develop. A large subset of boys, as news reports of mass shootings in the US show, have great difficulty controlling violent emotions. In this case, the animal world seems to give us a more intelligent solution. When adolescent male elephants are in the presence of mature male elephants, their aggressive behavior has been shown to be controlled and moderated. The following link gives but one example.
Men who love boys are perfectly suited for the kind of mentorship that could guide otherwise violent boys to constructive pursuits. Such men, as mainstream gays mostly once were, are closeted and hidden from view. Many hide in unsatisfying marriages or otherwise lead lives of longing and frustration. For such men, and we know this, intimacy absent of sex is rewarding in itself. In today’s environment, because of unwise laws, even mutually desired sexual intimacy should be avoided.
Please feel free to write again should you need any of the points we have presented clarified further.
* * *
July 4, 2023
I was loved by a man when I was a boy.
A dad of a friend at school.
I found it exciting before and while I was being loved. It went on during one summer school vacation.
After each time, I felt extremely free and conected to everything and everybody.
I do not know what the big deal against love. Love is love!
Mark
* * *
July 4, 2023
Dear NAMBLA,
My name is Tom, I am gay, and I am in my mid 30s. I am from Germany, but am also writing to you, like my predecessor from the UK, because we don't have a German equivalent to your organisation.
When I was 10-12 years I had an uncle that was in his late 30s and single man. He wasn't out as a homosexual man, nor did he seem to have a lot of interaction with women, but I do remember it was just not talked about in our family. He was just a single man.
I used to visit him on my way back home from school or on the weekends, since he had a computer at home, which we did not and I just happen to have been really interested in computers. I would spend hours at his place and he would explain every single program and we would play games. I would sit right next to him or on his lap, sometimes I'd stay so long that we would also eat a snack together or occasionally I would sleep over. There was never any sexual interaction between us, but he did always seem to be very happy whenever I would drop by.
Then around the time when I turned 12 he suddenly moved away to another town and I haven't heard or seen anything of him since. I never understood why and no-one was able to give me a satisfying answer. I would end up missing him a lot, since there wasn't anyone I felt a connection to like I did to him.
Recently I reconnected with him, we met and caught up. We started talking about the past and at this point I revealed that I had an ulterior motive in meeting him. I wanted to know if there was anything more there back then between us, if he felt more for me that just friendship among family members. After a while he did start to admit that he did have a crush on me, but was just too scared to act on his feelings and so he always had to contain himself. It got to a point where he didn't feel like he could hold himself back any longer and so he decided the best thing would be to move away. Hearing that just broke my heart in so many ways. Not only was I/the rules of our society the reason he felt like he had to cut himself out of my and consequently our families life, but also what could have been and what a wonderful, intimate and loving relationship this could have become.
At this point we were both crying and I told him that what hurts the most is, is that I am a boy lover myself, and being his age back then now myself, I cannot tell you what I would have done to have such an opportunity. It deeply saddens me that so many wonderful connections like this that could have been just aren't possible because of the skewed rules that society has come up with.
Thank you for exiting as an organisation and giving people like me a platform to tell my story,
Tom
Our reply:
Dear Tom,
Your appreciation of our existing as an organization, albeit not in your country, is encouraging. But if you are familiar with our website, you will see that there are many other ways of helping that are not bound by location. This is especially true in the wake of the technology that evolved since our founding.
* * *
May 21, 2023
Dear Sirs:
I am reading your article Fun With ChatGPT and finding it disturbing, interesting, eye opening and informative. Artificial intelligence will have more negative consequences than positive consequences but that is only my personal opinion.
Your observations on this topic are different from others I’ve read in that you seem to have laid a trap for the ChatGPT program. If that is indeed so then I am pleasantly surprised. I will have to go back and re-read this as it is an article which requires more than casual thought.
Thank you for your intelligent writing that does not cater to preconceived assumptions but that challenges the reader to put on his thinking cap.
Sincerely,
M. M.
Our reply:
Dear M. M.,
We deeply appreciate your thoughtful comments. There are many more facets of artificial intelligence that need to be explored, both by government agencies and members of the public. We welcome any additional insights you may have. Our aim was not to jump ChatGPT's "guard rails," as apparently many have tried, but to expose some of its inconsistencies.
To read our article probing ChatGPT's accuracy and veracity, go to our Forum, and scroll down to "Fun With ChatGPT."
* * *
May 14, 2023
Dear NAMBLA,
Hi there! My name is Jacey, and I'm a in my 40s. I am a man living in the UK. I know that NAMBLA is an American organisation but to be honest I haven't found any UK equivalent. As far as I'm aware, you're the only organisation that is forthrightly stating the truth on this topic.
A bit about me. I've been attracted to men since I was attracted to anyone, and, since I was about age 8 to 14, have had various sexual encounters with other boys in school. Were these experiences harmful? Absolutely not, and why would they be? The only time I felt any negative emotions from these experiences was when there was the risk of others finding out because I knew the trouble I could get into. Oh, and the other times when I felt negative effects linked to these experiences was when I heard casual homophobia being used around school. In other words, all negative effects were from society, and not from the sexual encounters themselves.
I and others have noticed that - in both my junior and high schools I've been in - I've always been the outcast loner type, in which I would be friendlier to the younger boys as I could relate to as they weren’t yet in puberty. I think boylovers are designed by nature to love and protect boys, and I think that boys really can pick up on this and do respond positively.
As I grew older, so did my age of attraction. That is, until my age of attraction got in the range of 8 to 12, where it stopped - while I continued growing older. (Side note: If this email gets published on NAMBLA's website and you, the reader, are thinking that the reason I'm attracted to boys is because I had sexual encounters with other boys when I was younger, I would like to challenge you to find one piece of empirical evidence from a non-biased study that supports this assumption).
From when I turned 16 to the age I am now, I have had a yearning desires to have a relationship with a boy (consensually). There has been moments in my life that I nearly had a close intimate moment with boys who expressed a desire for sex. Unfortunately, I've had to turn down these requests because of consequences could have raised from it, as the age of consent in the UK is currently 16 and there is much less of a chance of me changing the world from inside a prison.
So, I have some questions:
I truly feel like my life won't be complete without having a relationship with a boy - unfettered by oppressive government policies and hysterical social judgement. In the same way as a heterosexual man who's attracted to adults might feel like his life wouldn't be complete without a partner, I feel that my life without loving a boy without the worry of what society or the law would think would be a life half-lived. That's why my first question is: is there really hope? More specifically, are there signs that, on the horizon, we might see the acceptance of man-boy love, just like we've seen a movement towards the acceptance of homosexuality between adults? And could we, perhaps, use the timeline of the acceptance of homosexuality between adults to predict when and how man-boy love might also be accepted?
My second question - which I suppose would connect to my final question - is what are you and organizations like you doing to catalyse the acceptance of man-boy love and the changing or removal of age of consent laws?
And finally, what can I do to catalyse the acceptance of man-boy love and the changing or removal of age of consent laws? Basically, I want to get involved. But I am limited. I feel alone here. No one to talk to about my feelings about my forbidden love. I don’t want to be a loner and live a life solitary confinement. I wish I could donate but have very little money to give. But I suppose this is why I have asked the first two questions - to see if there is any point in trying and to know what kind of things are already being done.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and best of luck to you in your mission,
Jacey
Our response:
As to your first question, there is always hope. Societies change all the time, and more often than not for the better. As you point out, science, in the form of empirical evidence, supports the benign effects of love of men for boys. It however often takes a long time for society to catch up to scientific truth. For too many people it's "Do not bother me with facts. I know what I know."
As to what organizations like ours can do, it is to continue putting forth the truth. The truth being that the feelings such as you have expressed are not only quite common but are also a potential force for good. The documented prevalance of emotional problems, especially among boys feeling adrift in a changing society, points to the great benefit that mentorship and bonding with boys would bring by men like you.
To answer your third question, the producing of this website is oweed to the involvement of many people whose efforts remain mostly unsung. You, and anyone reading this, can find out how to add to their own efforts by going to the drop down menu "About" and cnecking "How Can I Participate?" If you do not find that the suggested ways of doing so work for you, we welcome your suggesting other ways.
* * *
May 5, 2023
To whom it may concern,
I do not know the full details of the story of the Iraqi civilians and the children. But, I would be willing to read up about it and take a look. If that is true, I agree that certain people were unjustly pardoned (again I do not know the whole story).
Overall, you can't compare the inappropriate touching and molestation of a child from a grown adult to a military situation. Child molestations are not in the same realm as murder/military. I think 99.999999% of America would vote against child molestation whereas 99.999999% of America would vote against murder.
Just my thoughts,
Our reply:
Thank you for your thoughtful comments and for making the effort to read articles on our site.
The story you read is accurate, and former president Trump did indeed pardon the murderer of children. In the unlikely event you find otherwise, we welcome your providing us with verifiable information.
Our article in no way intended to show approval for unsolicited and inappropriate touching but to simply contrast two egregiously unequal kinds of justice.
Most Americans may agree with the second part of your statement, but we hope that most would definitely not agree that the wanton murder of seventeen innocent civilians, among them two young boys, should ever be excused.
* * *
April 30, 2023
The following letter was lightly edited and only for minor typos and misspellings.
Dear Sirs,
I love your website and I'm so happy to find out that I'm not alone in this feeling that was being denied by our current society.
I'm Marcus and I'm 12 years old. I'm using this anonymous email since I cannot use my own personal email due to many reasons. I hope you can understand.
Even if I'm just a kid I knew already that I'm attracted to older males. I wasn't influenced by anyone and I'm certainly not influenced by your organization. I was just really born this way and I'm sure a lot of young boys were born like me too but we can't speak up about it cause we will be condemned by the community and even our parents.
They can't accept the fact that young boys who were attracted to older males exist and it's not an illness. It's a natural biological feelings just like how gays were actually normal human beings.
My point in this message is that I was just so sad that we're not seeing a romantic movie or a romantic pairing in a tv show between a young boy and an older male. But what annoys me especially in Hollywood is that they are mostly ok with showing young boys being attracted to older women but they never ever done anything like that with a young boy being attracted to an older male and I mean romantically attracted and not just in an idolizing way. It's very hypocritical.
With all the movies and tv shows I've watched I'm still hoping that one day young boys like me will be represented on screen especially in a mainstream movie and tv shows with well-known actors and not just in some independent films that barely no one watches. I don't see how a love story between a young boy and an older male whether he's a teenager, a young man in his 20s or a full grown adult man in his 30s or 40s will be harmful.
I think it's just that the current people who were in charge of the industry were still a bunch of straight conservative men who will condemn such nuanced relationship. I mean they're even still struggling to accept gay relationships between two consenting adults being shown on a mainstream PG movie or tv show. Let alone a homosexual relationship between a kid and an older male. I think it's really blurry for a Man/boy love to be accepted as of right now with all the homophobia gaining a lot of attention lately in our media. But we still have to fight for our rights. As a young boy I can tell everyone who will read this to all the young boys like me and everyone that we're not being manipulated or something. We were born like this and we know who we want to love and we can certainly consent at this age. Our society needs to abolish the age of consent especially to homosexual relationships. There's no harm in love. Those who think that are nothing but just persons who want to control us. I have a lot of things to say but I'll save it for another message in the future.
Thank you.
Concerning the above letter, we hold of utmost importance the privacy of those who write to us. To this end, we do not ask letter writers to identify themselves and accept anonymously written contributions as long as their tones are courteous. The letter "Marcus" sent us has sophisticated elements which made us initially doubt the writer's actual age. But then we recalled many impressive achievements of even younger individuals -- achievements that are often heralded in TV news. The legitimacy of this youngster's feelings appears to be confirmed by those adult gays we know who have recounted similar yearnings in their own youths.
* * *
April 25, 2023
To whom it may concern,
It is stated in an article on your website that Aiden Fucci stabbed
Tristyn Bailey 114 times. It also states that some of these stabs weee [sic]
“defensive.”
That is grossly inaccurate and offensive the the victim’s family.
Tristyn Bailey was raped and murdered in cold blood.
None of those 114 lacerations were defensive.
You are an organization of I’ll [sic] minded people for posting something
so egregious and offensive on your website.
Please correct the article.
Our reply
A defensive wound is one suffered when, for example, one puts one's hand between one's self and the attacking weapon and thereby incurs a wound in the hand or arm. The victim tried to protect herself this way multiple times and thereby incurred those defensive wounds. Your checking the media that reported on this terrible crime will help you ascertain the truth of this information.
Nothing in the article was disrespectful of the victim. Unfortunately, in a society that refuses to look deeply into its own flaws, too many of us become ancillary victims (e.g. the parents and families of both the victim and the perpetrator). It is only when we look carefully into causes of criminal behavior instead of automatically attributing evil intent that we can better prevent such awful crimes. What indeed caused such a young boy to commit such an awful act? Can you see how us knowing the cause might help society prevent similar terrible crimes in the future?
* * *
April 20, 2023
Dear Sirs:
The article Undeveloped Brains by Brandon Conway under The Hypocrisy Files is well thought out. I also enjoyed the Brooke Shields cartoon on the same page. Hypocrisy indeed in that case.
I have to say that you guys have a writing style and a take on things that really grabs me.
Sincerely,
M. M.
* * *
January 15, 2023
I'm writing in response to your letter on November 12. Were you compared how you are treated to "dark skinned".
Laws for let's say men who like younger boys to be put in jail because world wide people saw a problem that was
happening men taking advantage of young boys in sexual non consensual ways. So they after seeing the effect this
latter had on the young men they decided to try to protect these boys from the future problems.
I'm sure your first crush at their age is very different than the type you would go for now(well maybe not for you) but if you ask most
members of society they would say yes.
Laws and treatment of "dark skinned individuals" was due to no underlying issues just the pure hatred of a different race and also the
treatment of these dark skinned individuals can not be compared because on a day to day basis people will not see you as a whatever you want to
call yourself were every day a black person will be a black person.
Please never bring up my race when you are talking about what you do as we were taken advantage of not take advantage. You take advantage and
have the ability to hid from it. If every single person who supports this movement wore a shirt and a bumper sticker on car saying that they
support this movement would make me almost see your side but you hid your support because of how you could possibly be treated black people do not
get that choice.
I really hope you respond to this in timely fashion to see if you have any arguments against this but until I see shirts and bumper stickers
and holding hands out in open and things like tv commercials I don't think you do I don't think you do again PLEASE respond I am begging you.
* * *
Our response:
We welcome all opinions when presented in a courteous manner. Yours is courteous enough but nevertheless uses loaded terms as "taking advantage"
and "non-consensual" where the reality is quite the opposite.
You made an error in the date. It was November 21 -- not November 12.
Your much more serious error was in misinterpreting what was said in the letter section of that date.
To highlight your misconception, I challenge you to recognize who might be a Jewish person who is not part of an ultra-orthodox sect wearing
distinguishable clothing. There is no obvious way of telling who is a Jew. Jews come in all varieties of facial features and skin tones. Yet the
Nazi managed to obliterate 6 million of them. And yes, Jews can be Black too, and do not presume to own a race. You speak only for yourself and
not for everyone else. If you are not already aware, many Black people are also ethical lover of boys.
The United States is a bit kinder than the Nazis under Hitler. It merely labels men as pedophiles, both black, white and everyone of other skin
tones, who have had patently consensual intimate relationships with boys and lists them in publicly available data sets for life. Those who are not
on the registry, millions of them, dare not reveal their God given orientation and live necessarily hidden lives. You must be kidding about wearing
identifying shirts. Jews, under Nazism, were forced to wear yellow stars before being shipped out to be murdered. Do you get the idea?
The hypocrisy is that only for freely chosen intimacy by those below legally defined ages are youngsters deemed unable to consent. The fact that
ages of consent vary throughout the world speaks to a patently unscientific view of what consent means. Yet when it comes to the criminal justice
system, youngsters who are deemed incapable of good judgment are nevertheless treated as adults in adult courts.
If you reply, please use arguments that are more convincing.
* * *
November 21, 2022
Hey there! im using and alt email for personal privacy
resons. also i hope you can exuse my spelling as i typing
this on a forirgn keyboard with no auto correct. i came
across your organizitions site a while ago while surfing
through the internet, and was immideatly interested with
what you had to say about controversial and taboo subjects.
i read into the ideals, blogs, emails and art written by
many people and found myself somewhat agreeing with most
of what you say. i feel as long as its a 2 sided consenting
relationship where both parties are aware and are able to
comunicate to one and other, its absaloutly fine. however,
with media painting the picture by portraying the ugly
violent abuse, many people are put off, as was i. but your
site helped my realise that i could come to terms with
being in a relationship with a party who is older or younger
as long as its all consentioel. i am currently stuggling
with my own sexual identaty and have no real sexual experience
with anyone. where can i find people who think like us and
agree with these topics? is there a chat room or anything
like that anywhere?
scincerly, Anonymuos boy.
Hi anonymous boy,
You pretty much hit on the nail quite squarely in what
you wrote. As you recognize, the media have a way of hugely
magnifying popular prejudices. The bad deeds of the very
few in any group are easily attributed to the whole group.
Where once otherwise decent people held various groups such
as homosexuals, dark-skinned individuals, American Indians
and Asians in low esteem, today’s decent people will no
longer hold these attitudes but will nevertheless cheer the
outrageously long prison sentences meted for age discrepant
relationships that are essentially benign. There are always
those that do not fit the current mold whom mainstream
citizens think it proper to despise.
You ask about communicating with people who can help you
understand your own sexuality. That you are legally underage
does create a problem. In any chat group some individuals may
either believe that you are the instrument of an entrapment
scheme or others who believe you and have amorous intentions.
The latter are to be avoided since the law, no matter how we
disagree with it, needs to be followed until it is changed
by a more enlightened electorate.
The chat room that may be right for you is boychat
(https://www.boychat.org). You do not have to register to
simply follow the thread, but if you want to post, you will
have to provide an email address and a name. The name can be
an alias and the address any convenient one you choose. We
believe that this chat room is curated responsibly and will
insure that no unlawful or unethical behavior is tolerated.
October 17, 2022
We do not normally publish hostile emails such as the following, but the woolly-headed thinking of this particular individual is typical enough that it bears analysis and exposure. Logical errors in arguments abound, and before you read our analysis, see if you can identify the flaw.
As an additional note, we are including the writer’s full name but not his email address. We do this because the name is not unique, it relates to a counter argument of ours and the writer invites the use of his name. We also do not accept the writer’s term “pedophile” since its meaning, in common parlance, has been hideously distorted to mean things we are not.
You seem to reference historical periods a lot in your defence [sic], You do realize that being a paedophile [sic] was accepted during the time of Christ just like stoning someone to death or crucifixion was? Are you advocating for those things as well?
You better hope heaven and hell is not real. Oh, my name is Chris de Wet. I dare you to publish this email, perverted low lives [sic].
Our response:
We accept this easy challenge!
According to your flawed logic associating three irrelevant matters, nothing else of import that occurred “during the time of Christ” was of any good or of any value. It is doubtful anyone giving even cursory thought to such a conclusion would agree.
Your introducing irrelevant matters to make a point prompted us to remind you that the full name associated with your email address, Christiaan de Wet, is also the name of a Boer general. The Boers, also known as Afrikaners are known to have not only usurped lands of original African populations but also cruelly subjugated them. Using your very flawed logic, can we assume that you too, having an Afrikaner name, were a supporter of apartheid and still continue to harbor contempt for those who are not “wit” (Afrikaans for white)?
October 7, 2022
Email received by NAMBLA
I first have to say that although I've had some enjoyable sexual encounters with men and support your cause, I would not call myself gay. I am primarily a heterosexual hebephile, but I believe many boy lovers can probably relate to my experience.
I used to work at a concession stand at an athletic facility (dance, cheer, basketball, volleyball, etc.). There was one girl in particular I had always thought was very pretty, with an ultra-confident personality to match. One day, when she was 11 (by this time she had started to become the most beautiful girl I've ever seen), she was there late as I was cleaning up. We talked for about 20 minutes or so before her mom came to get her, and she refused to leave. I was freaking out inside because I knew she had a crush on me. As she was walking away, she turned around and looked at me in a way no girl or woman has ever looked at me, even my exes when they were in love. I stayed up all night thinking about that look.
The very next day she was there, she came right up to me when she was done with her practice, hopped over the counter, and spent the entire rest of the evening hanging out with me. For almost a year, she spent pretty much every second of her free time with me. It was the happiest time of my life. We became so close. We would talk for hours, goof around, cook terrible food and force each other to eat it, and laugh. We laughed a lot. She clearly wanted to be with me, and I her. I couldn't imagine being in any other situation that would make me any happier.
So how come I'm not happy? If love is supposed to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, then why am I sitting in the shower with the heat turned all the way up? If love is supposed to make you happy, bring people together, and shine a light on your life, then why am I spending my nights crying all alone in the dark? If love is supposed to take all your pain away and lift you up in the sky, then why am I writhing on the floor in agony? If love is supposed to feel like heaven, then why the HELL am I writing this email?
I'm in desperate need of a hug, but all I'm greeted with are the cruel, crossed arms of society. People with a propensity for actually abusive behavior are, unfortunately, going to do so regardless of whatever laws or restrictions are in place. Nobody is actually being protected here. All this does is deprive kids of their freedom or agency and punish people like us who just want to love someone and make them happy. When people have free reign to say the cruelest and most monstrous things towards and about people that would see them ostracized and viciously attacked were it to be about any other group, not only with impunity but actively encouraged and cheered on by everyone else, it begs the question: who is REALLY being abused here?
Our reply:
Thank you for your heartfelt letter. Of course we can relate as can everyone who has had unrequited love. In your case it also appeared mutual. One has to be blind not to have noticed at some point amorous designs from youngsters of either sex towards adults of either sex. Society, of course, constructs rationales for dismissing such feelings as insignificant.
You may be aware that Lewis Carroll, the author of Alice in Wonderland, felt as you do and wrote his stories to please Alice Liddell whom he was very much attracted to. Lewis Carroll is known to have taken many nude photos of young girls but destroyed most lest he brought embarrassment after his death.
July 19, 2022
We last heard from Magic, a Hispanic youth
who last wrote to us this past November. He then
wrote in Spanish, but has now done it in English.
He writes to comment on our recent essay condemning
American gun worship. Without apparent training
in logic, he also presents us with a fallacy most
people miss.
Well I'm not acquainted with normalization of
guns. where I come from, it's illegal. The second
Amendment, According to what I understood, says "We
need to militarize society". I think that's wrong.
I always believed normalization of guns were the
main reason of the massive murderers in U.S.A, mainly
in schools. ¿How can that be possible?
There's something I don't understand very well.
Are minnors cappable to buy guns, or they have guns
from other ''means''?
In my opinion, more guns to ''personal deffense''
only cause more murder because there will be people
who won't use it to ''personal defense''. And the
fact that teachers could have guns don't make it better.
Who know if a teacher can become mad or like you say
teacher lost their gun.
Now, about cognitive distortions. I've heard about
it and I don't understand it. The fact that we are told
that we have cognitive distortions. These "cognitive
distortions" are arguments, usually well structured,
usually even better than other arguments against us.
It is logical-deductive:
Relationships are harmful to minors + there are
minors who are not harmed = relationships are not
necessarily harmful to minors.
Magic
Hi Magic
In logic, we say F+T= F. That is, for an argument made
up of several propositions to be true, all propositions
must be true. If even only one is false, then the whole
argument is false.
Bravo for your clear thinking.
Peter
July 4, 2022
We are publishing the following exchanges between us and a
correspondent because we felt it important to illustrate some
people’s entrenched opinions and obstinacy when confronted with
facts.
Judge for yourself and perhaps suggest how we can improve our
ways of communicating our message.
(from Austin)
I have multiple questions suppose. From political to religious to biological. First: do you think man/boy love should be accepted into the lgbtq+ acronym and if so why? Is nambla mainly one certain religion? What ages does "boy" define? And just as gender is fluid do you believe age is fluid as well considering time is just a social construct?
Hello Austin,
Some of your questions, such as the one touching on religious affiliation, do not seem to make sense.
Others are too general and invite specific responses that cannot be adequately addressed in responses that need wider context than can be given in an email.
How about your telling us what your own opinions are on the questions you have presented? Perhaps you can make suggestions where you think our Web pages are lacking.
(from Austin)
Well there are images of catholic garb on the main page, that's why I asked. And I don't know really. I don't understand what man/boy love is. If it's men with sexual affiliation to males who are not fully developed mentally and physically then I do believe it doesn't belong under the lgbt umbrella. What is a boy to N.A.M.B.L.A? Like is it a state of mind or is it an age bracket?
(to Austin)
What Catholic garb images are you talking about? We have no preferences in religions nor do we object to any if they do not trample on other people's rights.
Your earlier questions and your present email betray a closed mind. They also indicate that you are relatively young and/or lack historical perspective.
None other than Harry Hay, a giant of Gay Liberation, long before Stonewall, supported and defended NAMBLA. Among other notables in the Gay Pantheon is Allan Ginsberg who was an ardent supporter and member of NAMBLA.
A subset of the Gay movement, for ignominious acceptability, abandoned NAMBLA when it suited their agenda. Just as in the communist witchhunts of the 1950's, most Gays have long been too cowed to see the current hypocrisy.
Were you to carefully read NAMBLA's actual website www.nambla.org you will find all the answers to your questions.
(Because they offer a valuable lesson, we expect to publish your emails and our responses. Please let us whether you want the name that you supplied to appear.)
(from Austin)
In the slide show of images. There's another of children playing tug of war. I mean I've seen all I need to to formulate an opinion on the beliefs and doctrines this organisation so I won't argue further. I just wanted to see if this shit was real. You guys wanna see teens in bathhouses with grown men. Just something enticing about a creature that can't tell what you really are. Post my first name and make my last name doe. If not cest la vie. I'm not worried about hate I would get from this community anyway
Note: The slide show on NAMBLA's main page mentioned by Austin depicts art works from a variety of artists. When time allows, other artists will be featured. Our community does not hate anyone, as Austin implies. But it does hate ignorance.
May 28, 2022
Hello,
I am a 14 year old boy and I recently found out about
NAMBLA. I'm proud to say that I do fully support it.
For the longest time, I repressed these feelings I had toward older
men and it felt very isolating. After I found out about NAMBLA, I have
now realized that this is completely normal and others are like me.
Regardless, I would like to mention how relieved I am right now to
finally find a community that supports and advocates for man/boy
relationships. Even though I only found this group recently, I feel as
though I can be a bit more honest with myself and not feel as ashamed
as I was before.
Thankfully, the large majority of my family, friends, and even
teachers were very supportive when I came out as transgender and gay,
which was around 2 years ago. I have already legally corrected my name
and have been on testosterone for nearly a year. Despite society's
perspective on transgender Healthcare, I can proudly say that it was
the most amazing choice I ever made in my life. I could barely even
wake up in the morning and look at my body, but now I've never felt
any more happier and liberated in my life...
I pray to G-d that eventually, I'll be in a wonderful relationship
with a man that I sincerely love. I am ready for a deep connection
like that. But, my biggest fear is that I'll never find a man who sees
me as a "normal" boy.
Does NAMBLA also include trans boys/men?
My friends ( and sometimes my anxious mother ) do reassure me that one
day I will find someone who will look at me and love me, all of me,
and not care one bit at all. Someone who just loves me for me. I
really hope that will come true.
Thank you so much for everything
- Elijah
Hi Elijah,
Thank you for your supportive words.
Concerning your question, "Does NAMBLA also include trans boys/men?,"
You may have read on our page, "Who We Are," that among the stated
goals is the "supporting the liberation of persons of all ages from
sexual prejudice and oppression."
We hope that you understand that NAMBLA does not offer ways for
individuals to meet each other, other than for work of an activist
nature. We also urge all to not break laws even if they find them unjust.
Those should be changed through education and democratic means.
* * *
March 10, 2022
Do you think there exists any limits to the man-boy relationship? Why
does society see your movement as wrong? I believe there are a lot of
misconceptions about this that people have. One is that people think
the adult would be in full control, two some think that it's
manipulative, and the whole view on adults that like children is that
they want to kill and rape the boys. Now they may be the case for
some people but not the naMBla organization. Would you agree that
people focus to much on men liking the boys as wrong but forget to
consider if the boys like the men?.
Our response:
In an earlier message, you stated that you are 14. There is no way of checking
this, but it is quite apparent that many boys your age have had similar feelings
and later as adults have admitted to having had them. And yes, when young, one's
opinion is too easily dismissed as unwise or immature.
We will publish your email without your name or alias so as to insure your privacy.
To answer your first question, there are limits to any relationship, and that includes
man-boy ones. Among those limits, but not limited to them, are mutual respect and
mutually consensual behavior. If such relationships were openly accepted, bad actors,
if there really were any to the extent the media portray it, would easily be called
out and made to desist. Ironically, this is not the case for many conventional families
where problems are often hidden and fester.
* * *
February 20, 2022
Why hello there,
I wanted to write a letter today to shed some light on the relationship between a man and a boy.
I'm 15, I'm still quite the youngin, but I do have some experience.
To start, let's go back to when I was 10, oh did I enjoy that year. I was in 5th grade if I can remember,
I did the normal stuff a 5th grader would do, look up gay porn of cour- oh wait, that's not normal? Oh, well
that doesn't matter. What does matter is the relationship between my best friend and I. His name was, well
let's call him John. John had adhd, and was a bit hyper and weird. I liked that about John. Now, in 5th grade,
I was one of the most popular kids in school, but he was one of the only ones I would let over to my house. I
invited him over one day, and well you know how 5th graders are 5th graders? Yeah, well this 5th grader didn't
close a couple tabs in his browser. And well, John, he found em, to save you some time, I think you know what
happens next.
Travel to 6th grade, the big field trip! Ooh boy I loved this field trip. It was 5 days, and 4 nights up in
the woods. Immediately when I got off the bus, I noticed a camp counselor, he seemed to be around 25, about 5'10,
clean shaven, nice man. Oh god I had a crush on him. I got lucky enough for him to be the one assigned to my
cabin, I made sure I left some subtle hints. God was blessing me one fine day, and well let's call him Steve,
he took the hint. This part is a little fuzzy, but I did something to where we would have to have some one on one,
I believe I said I needed medication from my cabin, and he had to come with me. That was the best night of my life.
I continued to explore sexual relations with older men, at one point I tried to lie about my age, I stopped that
pretty quick. But I was hooking up with men quite often. But then, then came the discovery of the app known as
[omitted by us], oh my goodness were there some weird people on there. I chatted with hundreds of people on there,
mostly older men, and it was going great-.... Till- dun dun dun, the FBI came to my house, hoping to save me from
a online sex trafficking ring. That was an awkward talk with my parents.
What I'm trying to say, is that not all interactions with young boys and older men are bad, they in fact shaped me into
who I am today, I hope this gets out so that people can get a better understanding.
Bye bye now
-SocialE
We hesitated to publish the above letter because it may well be the musings of an adult making this up or simply
shifting the experience by some years. That gay boys, of their own volition, do want and even seek the attention
of older men is not surprising. The evidence is clear. Gay men, many who are now elderly, have recounted similar
experiences when they themselves were boys.
We have looked up the app SocialE mentions, and we strongly advise against using such to break current laws. Even
innocent talk by an adult with a minor can at the very least bring unpleasant accusations. So SociaE's account should
be an indication of the dangers such adventurism can bring on.
* * *
February 7, 2022
In 1993 I took a course provided by San Francisco Sex Information at UCSF. This organization is still around. This organization and course are intended to give factual-information on all types of sexual lifestyles, without advocating or dis-advocating any type of lifestyle.
We spent a whole session, discussing the topic of child adult sex. The instructors said that this is cross culturally widespread, but very taboo, due to the harsh penalties associated with a conviction for this type of act.
Today, the media refers to this as human trafficking, versus calling it pedophilia.
In any species that ever existed on this planet, the youngest and healthiest of prime reproductive age have always been the most sexually desirable. Up until the last 200 years, most humans were lucky if they lived beyond the age of 25, so nature was working for a teenage marriage.
I was a long-distance runner and a swimmer starting in my teenage years. I also had a job as a lifeguard one summer. Although no "illegal" act was ever committed, I was aggressively approached by people of all ages. Kids do have ways of being clever.
I think you hit the nail on the head, regarding the Jeffrey Epstein case. If I was on the jury, I might have recommended that Ghislaine Maxwell register as a sex offender but not recommend any prison time, as there was no evidence of kidnapping or rape. Now that she is going to be spending prison time, I would recommend that those "greedy" girls also spend prison time for knowingly doing underage drinking and that their parents spend prison time, for the improper supervision of "minors". I did not like the media stating that those girls were deprived of their innocence.
James
Dear James,
Thank you for your comments. They are much appreciated.
We might differ however on one point. Being registered as a sex offender can be even more punitive than a prison sentence. It not only affects the registrant but also his/her family and shuts the registrant off of most opportunities for decent work and shelter.
Our society has become crazed with victimhood and punishment. It seems like the status of being a victim has now become the new status symbol.
It has come to a state where a Larry Nasser is given essentially a life sentence reserved for multiple murderers. If Nassar violated medical ethics, taking away his medical license alone would be quite a punishment. Adding some reasonable prison time would unnecessarily be twisting the knife but more humane than having him rotting forever in a prison.
Had what Nassar did been so heinous, surely the risk of losing Olympic opportunity would have been far less of a painful fate for the young athletes. I wonder if boys who have been checked for hernias thought their doctors were getting their jollies doing so. And then, should doctors who in the past used anal thermometers on kids also be suspect? Why not get all of them in prisons and on the registry? As Lewis Carroll, a known pedophile and author of Alice in Wonderland, said through the character of the Queen of Hearts, “Off with their heads.”
Peter
February 10, 2022
I don't know if we really differ on that one point, come to think of it. But NAMBLA needs to change its public reputation and society is headed in the opposite direction. From reading your website, I watched the Steven Stayner movie, for the first time, and read articles on everything pertaining to Steven that the main media had published. Part of the main media tried to associate all of what happened to Steven, with your organization.
I doubt if your organization supports the kidnapping and rape of unwilling boys, by anyone. That should be made clear to the public. Also, if anyone is convicted of true kidnapping and rape of an unwilling boy, they should either not be allowed to join your organization or be kicked out and that should be made known to the public.
In the Bible, after Lot was evacuated from Sodom, he got his daughters pregnant. Why don't the religious people openly discuss this aspect? There is also a book called the X Rated Bible, discussing many sexual passages. In all the Christian related churches I have visited, only a limited number of passages of the Bible are openly discussed. I asked some religious people if all the people of Sodom, except for Lot were homosexuals, how did Sodom even have a population? The passages say that the people of Sodom were wicked, but in one version of the Bible the authors put the word "homosexual" in parenthesis. But these religious people will come up with an answer to anything, just to adhere to accepted religious doctrine.
The age of consent laws in this country radically differs by state. In California, the age is 18, with no accommodation for age difference. In Nevada, the legal age of consent is not only 16, but prostitution is legal. In Texas, nobody talks about the Luke Walker case. At 18, he was charged with having willing sex with a 16-year-old girl. The age of consent is 18, not allowing for age differences. So maybe under Governor Abbott, Luke could either go to prison for life or must register as a sex offender.
Another comment: Why are those priests in the Catholic church allowed to not be prosecuted, while anyone else, under current society, can possibly look toward either a lifetime in prison or a lifetime of being shunned as "sex offenders"?
Finally, one more comment: Why are children who are escaping from poverty in Latin America, being allowed to live in squalid conditions at the US Mexico border with nothing done; yet, if someone was to have sex with one of these children, that person could either quickly end up in jail or be required to register as a sex offender?
James
Hi James,
Thank you for your reply. What you say hits the nail on the head. You point to many inconsistencies in what people believe, yet has truth ever changed the minds of those who believe in nonsense? Before truths can be accepted, other approaches need to be used.
I must admit that your suggestion of our stating that we are against bad actors has some logic to it, but on further thought it is a bad strategy. I do not know if you are aware of the late president Nixon’s famous Checkers speech where he stated “I am not a crook.” This statement is often used to illustrate what not to say when stating your innocence. What stays in people’s minds is what goes after the word “not.” Another criticism of this strategy is that when you proclaim what you are not, people most likely think you are protesting too much and are trying to hide your guilt. It is much better to state the positives than to negate the negatives, and we do have lots of positives and none of the negatives our detractors claim.
To believe that anyone committing a horrible crime might knowingly be allowed into our organization is laughable. Where does one get such notions? But expecting rationality from people who are incapable of it is not a winning strategy. Stating that we do not condone such acts is like stating that the Earth is not flat. Stating an obvious negative, as I earlier explained, has quite the opposite effect than what you might think. One is more likely to be struck by lightning than a child is likely to be kidnapped by a stranger. Much more likely is the stealing of babies by emotionally deprived women or by spouses fighting over custody of their kids. Yet motherhood and parenthood do not seem to get the opprobrium heaped on us for simply using our Constitutionally protected speech.
Your mentioning of the many inconsistencies that people unquestionably accept just further illustrates the difficulty of bringing rationality to the discussion. Yet, there are perceptive people who do not necessarily share our orientation but who see the danger that the oppression directed at us can easily be redirected to others. In that sense, they are with us. It is consequentially sad that you should be worried about FBI questioning your motives. Whether or not you share our orientation, you, like other perceptive people, share our concerns for freedom of expression. I would therefore hope that at some point you will see using the words “our organization” instead of “your organization.”
Thanks again for your thoughts.
Peter
* * *
December 29, 2021
Subject: Another letter from a boy. Surprise, surprise.
Ignore my sarcastic subject [line]. I just think it's funny.
I do, in fact, support NAMBLA in the year of our lord 2021/2022. Here's why.
I consider myself a teleiophile. If you were to go into the specifics, I consider myself a mesophile (one who is attracted to those who are middle-aged). I do not consider myself attracted to adults the same "part-of-development" way as an average youth would be attracted to those older than them. I have yet to have a substantial relationship with an adult (an AF, I hear some communities call it?), but I am still hopeful.
As a transgender youth living in a country currently obsessed with taking away our right to choose our own bodies, or at least how they develop, I am intimately aware that as a young person, as a child, you are not seen as an adult. At my age of 12, I do consider myself just as capable as a grown transman to decide on my healthcare.
I am also just as capable as a grown man to decide if I would like to have sex.
About a year ago, now, I was an incredibly active member of the "anti-map" and "antiship" communities online, all while hating myself for my fantasies of adult men. Not just sexual, but romantic, too. I feel that this sort of self-hating hypocrisy runs rampant in pedophobic communities, as does homosexuality in homophobic communities.
My repression of what are, in fact, the most natural feelings one can have has been holding me back for years. The night after I realized what I was (the same night I discovered the NAMBLA website), I cried myself to sleep. Not out of sadness, but out of joy. I stayed up until 4AM typing page after page after page of my thoughts.
And I think that I may have finally found myself.
If boylovers can have that effect on someone they've never met, how is it that they're evil? In the few weeks I've been active online as a "lurker" in these communities, I've felt safer than I ever have in my life. I do not feel abused. I have not BEEN abused. Even if I did have a relationship with an adult man, even if I had sex with that adult man, I would not be abused.
I apologise if this letter is a bit raw, or a bit rambly (is that a word?). I've tried to be as honest as possible with this, so it's probably not as good or as eloquent as my regular writing.
You're the real heroes here.
love n hugs
Hyacinth (an overused penname, probably, but I've been actually considering using this as a legal name.)
Dear Hyacinth,
We are pleased that NAMBLA has helped you come to terms with yourself, and we agree that young people are capable and deserve recognition of their agency.
Nevertheless, it is always good to have a support network of experienced people around us. Even heads of states depend on a cabinet of experienced people to make decisions. For most toung people, supportive parents are the ideal. Barring this, other relatives or older people you respect may fill that role.
We are confident that you are aware that in our current society, some of the relations you may wish to have with older people may be considered criminal. It does not matter if we think that some laws are unjust. Perhaps youths like you will one day change the political climate that will accept more humane and realistic laws.
* * *
November
18, 2021
A
Letter from a Hispanic Teenager
(For readers who do not speak Spanish, we
suggest using a translation application.)
Buenas
tardes, primero que nada me gustaría que
mantuvieran mi nombre en secreto. Si necesitan
un nombre, usen mi seudónimo ''Magic Usagi''
Desde que tengo
memoria no me acuerdo que en algún momento
haya visto problema alguno con las relaciones
entre adultos y niños, independientemente del
sexo. Siempre he creído en que una relación
romántica entre generacione es posible.
Pero entre la gente
que conozco, soy el único que piensa así.
También fue un shock para mi descubrir que la
gente que tiene relaciones sexuales con
menores van a la carcel aunque la relación sea
conensuada. La verdad es que me genera una
gran impotencia este hecho.
Recuerdo también que
un amigo nos contó (como a eso de los 12 años)
que estaba enamorado y hasta tuvo ''cosas''
con un hombre mayor de edad. Aparentemente yo
fui el único de entre a los que le contó que
apoyó a esa relación. Incluso tuve debates
(que no llegaron a ningún lado) con sus otros
amigos que consideraban aquel hecho como
abuso, inapropiado o ese tipo de cosas; claro,
algo tan alejado de la realidad. A veces
pienso que no entienden el significado de
abuso.
En realidad, mi
verdadero interés por todo este tema se dio
cuando me di cuenta de que aunque estoy
creciendo, mis gustos se van quedando atrás.
Aún no soy mayor de edad tengo 17, pero me
atraen fácilmente personas que pueden llegar a
más de 6 años menor que yo.
Y cuando descubrí
acerca del movimiento MAP, mi primera
impresión fue esperanzadora y positiva...
hasta que vi las críticas.
Pero entre tantas
investigaciones que hice llegué a NAMBLA.
Aunque la descubrí
por medio de una crítica negativa, la verdad
es que he notado que están muy llenos de
información, y son más inclusivos y
comprensivos que otras personas. En
conclusión, los medios tienen una versión
bizarra de lo que realmente son ustedes.
Volviendo al tema,
leyendo y leyendo noté que aparentemente
tenemos los mismos ideales. Porcierto, yo creo
en el amor Adulto-niño, pero también en el
Adulta-niña, Adulto-niña, Adulta-niño. También
creo en otras cosas en las que ustedes creen,
pero sería largo enumerarlas aquí.
Quise escribirles
porque quiero que las personas sepan que hay
gente que los apoya a ustedes hasta en habla
hispana, aparte de que no encuentro ningún
otro lugar donde pueda expresar todo lo que
dije.
Quiero también
apoyar a sus ideales... a nuestros ideales
aunque aún no tenga claro cómo; todo lo que se
me ocurrió fue escribir esta carta, y también
quiero que NAMBLA sea conocida, pero como lo
que son y no con esa mentira con las que los
medios manchan a NAMBLA. También quiero que
hayan más grupos como NAMBLA en todo el mundo.
También quiero
agradecerles, ya que debo hacer un informe
sobre pedofilia y sexualidad y parte de la
información la tomé de ustedes.
Creo que debí
decirlo antes pero esta carta es para su
sección de ''Letters''.
Atentamente:
Un chico de algún lado de América del Sur
Response
from staff:
Hola Magic,
Estoy de acuerdo con
mucho que dices. Pero no escribo bien en
español. Enviaré tu correo electrónico a una
persona que entienda muy bien el español para
que pueda darte una respuesta. También
publicaré tu carta en la sección "cartas".
Peter
Response from Spanish speaking volunteer:
Hola
Magic,
No
hay problema con el seudónimo. Entendemos y
respetamos el derecho a la privacidad.
Desafortunadamente,
existen muchos mitos acerca de las
relaciones entre menores de edad y adultos.
Y usualmente preferimos el término
"adolescentes"/"niños"/"jóvenes" en vez de
"menores de edad", porque preferimos usar
términos humanos antes que legales. Antes
que sujetos legales, somos seres humanos. Y,
desafortunadamente, muchas personas piensan
que niño+adulto=abuso, y no se salen de esta
ecuación.
Y
sí, Nambla ha tenido en el pasado una
historia de rechazo, por parte de la
sociedad pero sobretodo por parte de la
comunidad lgbt (omito el signo "+" aquí). Y
han caído muchas críticas, como cuando
desapareció un niño y se nos culpó de ello,
a pesar de que nosotros no tuvimos nada que
ver. Los medios utilizan cualquier mentira
para dañar nuestra imagen, y omiten todos
los otros mensajes e ideas que promovemos
desde nuestra organización.
La
buena noticia es que no estás solo. No eres
el único que piensa así.
Nos
alegra mucho que hayas utilizado información
de nuestra web para tu informe/trabajo y te
deseamos que te salga súper bien. Y por otro
lado, dinos si podemos colaborar de otra
forma para ayudarte.
Pondremos
tu carta en la sección de Letters
próximamente, utilizando tu seudónimo.
¿Quizá consideres la posibilidad de que
publiquemos tu informe una vez lo hayas
completado?
Otra
vez, es una alegría sentir este apoyo por tu
parte, el cual queremos darte de vuelta.
Un
abrazo
* * *
September
29, 2021
A Confused Individual
I was 14 "dating" a 20-year-old. I
had my own job, was paying my own
bills. I was mature for my age, and
thus mature enough for an adult
relationship, right?
No. A 14-year-old's
brain is not developed enough to fully
comprehend sex or romantic love the way a
20-year-old's is. Even if the child
makes the "choice" for a relationship with
an adult, it still harms them.
Fuck you. People like
you hurt me forever. I'm 23 now and it
hurts my heart I can't protect every child
from pedophiles.
One of your members said
pedophilia was seen as worse than
murder. I would say both causes
extreme trauma-- only the victims of
pedophilia have to live with the
consequences for the rest of their lives.
Darren Michaels
Dear Mr. Michaels,
Had your email to us been more courteous,
you might have gained more credibility. The
angry tone of your email, we suspect, comes
from a very different source than the one
you purport.
What you say does not hang together. It
appears that at 14, with a job, paying your
own bills and having a relationship that was
apparently not only illegal but that any
other youngster with no intrinsic homosexual
identity would have strongly resisted, it
seems you were quite able to make sound
judgments.
From what you claim, you were to a great
degree independent of your parents or legal
guardians. Perhaps it is their neglect that
is causing you all the pain you profess. It
is probable that your parents or those in
loco parentis were criminally neglectful.
Do not assume that we have not been “around
the block a few times” and that we are
ignorant of the human tendency to find blame
outside of one’s self. Sound research, for
the most part largely ignored, shows that
freely engaged-in sexual encounters, no
matter the age, do not result in trauma --
regret perhaps, but not the forever pain you
claim.
Perhaps at some point your lover rejected
you. The pain of rejection is equally
painful at any age.
Perhaps you were forced. Then given the
responsible independence you profess, you
could easily have sought law enforcement for
help.
The same judicial authorities that would
have imprisoned your lover are more than
happy to treat 14-year-old wrong-doers as
adults. Given your unexamined assumption
regarding the human brain, does it make
sense to put away a 14-year-old for a
greater portion of his natural life, as too
often happens? Society certainly thinks so.
Don’t you see a contradiction here?
If we have misunderstood your situation or
you left out relevant information, do write
again.
Nambla staff
* * *
September 17, 2021
Caught
When I
was 13 I was in my final year of summer
camp. I knew I was gay but of course
said nothing about it. Although taking
showers with naked boys was stimulating
I managed to keep my emotions in check.
In that final year I made friends with a
boy from another division (I was in the
Drum and Bugle Corps, he was in Division
5) and soon we began having sexual
feelings for each other.
We
found places we were could fool around
without being noticed. One night after
taps, lights out, we each sneaked out of
our respective cabins for a rendezvous
where I dropped to my knees and
took his penis in my mouth.
I
was bringing the boy to climax
when suddenly a bright light shown
on us. He bolted but I was caught
before I could get up and run. A
counselor in my division had
caught us. I began crying thinking
I was going to be kicked out of
camp on the verge of graduation
and my parents would be mortified.
Instead
this man, a college student, sat
me down on a nearby bench and told
me things were going to be OK. He
asked if I was forced to give the
BJ or if I had forced the other
boy to let me. I replied no to
both. Then he told me as far as he
was concerned, nothing happened.
It
took me awhile to realize I was
not going to be in trouble. He
told me that boys my age often
experiment sexually and this did
not mean I was or was not gay. No
one was harmed and so he was not
going to say a thing. He gave me a
strong hug and sent me back to
bed. Two weeks later I graduated
on time with a rank of Lieutenant,
a high rank at this military style
camp, and no one else ever knew
what happened.
I
owe my life to this kind man who
would be in his 60's now. I have
often wondered if he was a boy lover
or just a very kind man. But he
helped me in what otherwise could
have been a disaster for me.
Dear XN,
Thank you for this very touching story. It
does not matter if this former camp
counselor was a lover of boys or simply a
very kind person. From our perspective,
the two are equivalent.
Peter
* * *
August 31, 2021
Puzzling
Request
We
did not know
if the writer
was genuinely
curious or if
mischief was
the goal. We
however take
all queries at
face value and
answer all
apparently
serious
questions. The
following is
the question
and then our
answer:
how
does this man
boy love thing
work when age
of consent
laws are
considered
In a
free democracy
one should obey
established laws
and only work to
change them when
they do not seem
reasonable. A
free democracy
provides legal
ways of changing
laws, and one of
the tools for
change in the
right to free
speech.
There is plenty
of evidence to
back up the
belief that
current age of
consent laws are
not reasonable
or even
effective. It is
your right to
differ, but your
telling us what
you yourself
think would be
appreciated.
* * *
August 11, 2021
Kids
Wanting their
own Say
The
following was
sent by a
correspondent
who wants to
stay
anonymous. He
found the
following Dear
Abby letter
that dates
back many
years but
nevertheless
makes an
important
point about
young people.
"DEAR
ABBY: I am a
12-year-old
girl. My
birthday is
next month,
and I can't
wait. I'm
looking
forward to
being a
teenager, but
more than
that, when I'm
13, adults
won't think of
me as a
"little kid."
Most adults
think when you
are 13 you are
more
responsible
than you are
when you are
only 12, but
actually, you
aren't.
It makes me
angry when
adults assume
that I'm
irresponsible
because I'm a
"little girl."
(Some of the
teenagers I
know act like
2- year-olds.)
Please publish
my letter,
Abby, so
adults will
know how
people my age
feel when we
are treated
like "little
kids" when we
are not."
I Know this is
not a boy and
NAMBLA is "Boy
Love '' but
"Age of
consent and
when are
people (not
just boys)
able to make
decisions
about their
bodies. I
thought you
might enjoy
this. :)
* * *
August
2, 2021
Questions and Answers
Hello,
I am curious on your viewpoint
regarding the following
I lived in San Francisco for a
few years recently and got to know many gay
men closely for the first time in my life.
Never having had gay friends
close enough to ask personal questions, I
asked them typical questions like "when did
you know" etc etc, so that I could better
understand this orientation and how it comes
to be.
I believe most told me they
always knew, or knew very young.
But a significant amount of them
also told me they had sexual experiences with
an adult male at a very young age, some before
they ever thought about their own sexuality.
I don't recall how they all
framed this. I believe at least 2 had called
it abuse or having gotten abused.
One told me it was before he
ever thought about anything sexually.
I ask you, with no judgment or
want to vilify you, how does an adult boy
lover go about this?
Meaning, would you feel as
though your sexual or emotional actions
towards a boy would shape their sexual future,
in sense without their consent, before they
have had their own uninfluenced ability to
explore their own sexuality?
Do you think there is a strong
correlation between adult homosexuality and
young sexual experiences with adult males as
boys?
Thanks for your insight it helps
me understand my own self.
I also had an experience where a
man was very violently homophobic around me,
who got very upset at me, because he thought I
was making a sexual advance on him when I was
only being kind, and he later inferred that he
had gotten raped and I understood this is why
he was so violent about this issue.
I don't think all pedophiles
rape children, in that a believe some
relationships can be consensual, and I believe
this violent man was an adult when he got
raped, but how do you deal with this issue of
consent with a child who may not even know his
sexual orientation yet, and that your actions
are likely potentially influencing that?
S.(name withheld)
Hi S,
Some of your questions presume hypothetical
situations that, given today's Draconian
consequences, cannot be answered in any
realistic way.
Even if someone underage freely initiated a
relation forbidden in law with an adult
person, such an encounter would of necessity
be secretive and consequently emotionally
corrosive. Once discovered, it would create
for the older partner life destroying
consequences. Consequently, the younger
partner would surely experience a combination
of negative feelings. Among these would be an
immense feeling of guilt for causing the older
partner to be sent to prison, feeling of guilt
and personal shame because authorities claim
that the relation itself was reprehensible. He
would eventually reinterpret the relationship
as abusive according to the narrative of the
authorities and Medieval thinking social
services. There would be harm done of the
iatrogenic kind -- that is, harm not done
because of the relationship itself but because
of the ensuing social condemnation.
For this reason, NAMBLA will not counsel such
relationships no matter how freely accepted.
When a change in social perceptions followed
by different laws comes to be, then a
different discourse will be possible.
As to your question as to how people come to
the realization as to who they are, there is
no simple answer. Everyone is different, and
life is very complex. We cannot study it like
a simple chemistry or physics experiment. But
your questioning of people you knew was a good
beginning to discovery.
To use a non-sexual example, some people do
not realize personal talents such as ability
to sing beautifully or to paint magnificently
or being superior at math until later in life.
Some realize their talents almost from birth.
The same is true for sexuality, and you can
believe it, some never have sexual feelings
well into adulthood and sometimes never.
Human beings possess a certain arrogance in
thinking that their free will enables them to
change into anything that society wants them
to be. When individuals feel forced to become
who they are not, we have a recipe for mental
illness and sometimes suicide.
Human beings once trusted those claiming to be
able to identify witches. There were even
manuals written to do so. We are not much
different today when clinical psychologist
claim to predict all sorts of bad consequences
to youngsters experiencing intergenerational
sex. These bad consequences are iatrogenic
(that is caused by negative social reactions).
Of course, there are people who act badly, but
this is true for all human interactions and
thankfully relatively rare. If heterosexual
relationships were to be judged by the same
standards as homosexual ones, heterosexuality
would be made illegal.
Galileo was once condemned by the Catholic
Church for his proof that the Earth revolved
around the Sun and not otherwise. Despite of
all our modern technology, people, even
supposedly intelligent ones, are today
behaving as stupidly as those who once thought
that the Earth was the center of the Universe.
I hope this clears a few thing, but do not
hesitate to bring up further questions. There
is a lot more to be said but too little time
to do it all at once.
* * *
July 8,
2021
From a correspondent
The Next
Generation
Growing up, I always thought
about people like us as the
old man in the trench coat.
The boogeyman that society
makes us out to be. Then
puberty came. I justified
myself by saying "I like
them my age. There's nothing
wrong with liking someone
your own age or a little
younger." Then the years
between my age and what I
like grew, and grew. I
eventually had to, still
have to, accept that this is
who I am- and that there is
nothing wrong with that.
As a young man, a member of
the newest generation in our
society, I've come to view
myself as a symbol of hope
for myself and everyone like
me. If someone so young can
realize this is within them:
then anyone and everyone
can. It'll continue. We will
continue. My kids,
grandkids, and their
grandkids all could and may
be like me.
But until then that I can
share a passion with those
closest to me; I'll remain
where I am. Peering through
the looking glass. Secretly
hoping with every person I
see, every stocker, waiter,
cashier, CEO, teacher,
student, everyone that I
see, that one of them; any
of them, all of them, are
like me. I'll continue to
hear the stories and see the
news about those who fulfill
their fantasies, and
continue to hope and dream
that one day that will be
me.
I am you. The younger you. I
don't know what to do or
have anyone to guide me. But
I am here, and I will not
let us fade out into the
night.
We will survive.
* * *
July 2,
2021
From a correspondent
I wish everyone involved in the
Nambla organization a happy July the 4th
weekend. I support everything you guys stand
for and hope to someday be more involved with
the organization when opportunities appear
because I believe strongly in protecting the
love and rights of a man and boy who love each
other and love spending time together.
Society has destroyed so many beautiful
relationships between men and boys. I imagine
someday a world where a man and boy can hold
hands or cuddle while watching fireworks on
July the 4th without worry of being separated
and exposed. I am proud of Chris for staying
strong and wish he could be freed from this
injustice. He also has my full support.
Thank you guys.
* * *
By L.Teognis
Cordial greetings, in this
letter I feel pain and frustration, a
frustration created by the already known
"witch hunt", by the oppressive situation
and by the use of violence. The morals of
this world have made it so since
civilization lost its values. But I also see
hope, because natural inclinations and
predilections are what will generate trust
and true honor, so I see a real bright spot
in a future social breakthrough regarding
self-determination and the "coming out of
the closet" of Socratic lovers. My absolute
revulsion to mistreatment in prison systems.
Thanks for sharing as always.
We must promote the
psychological and moral support of those
neglected in prisons and isolation centers,
etc. We must fight for dignity and
tolerance, for respect for humanity.
*
* *
June
12, 2021
From a Boy
from Columbia Writing in Spanish
We
are publishing the following letter
without translation. This can be done
fairly accurately with translation
apps on the Internet. Human beings can
do it better, but we need more people
carrying the load. If anyone coming to
this site who is fluent in both
Spanish and English, we could use some
of our more important documents being
translated into Spanish. The following
letter is quite touching and
apparently genuine. Though he has not
asked, we leave out his name for his
privacy.
Holi, okay pues como te
dije yo conocí a mi novio cuando tenía
11 , y el tenía 60, el era muy bueno
conmigo y siempre me quiso mucho, yo fui
el que decidió empezar todo y el no me
apresuró a nada , recuerdo que en varias
ocasiones el me llevaba a mi
escuela y se comportaba muy bien
conmigo lo ame por qué el se parecía
mucho a mi papi,
el fue muy cariñoso
conmigo y siempre me amo recuerdo que
cuando nosotros empezamos a jugar
desnudos el me preguntaba primero si
quería y siempre le decía que si por
qué a mí me gustaba, fue el primer
hombre que vi desnudo y lo ame
demasiado siempre solíamos jugar
cuando nadie nos miraba y me divertía
mucho con el y sus amigos, el me
enseño muchas cosas , estoy muy
agradecido con el, es la única persona
que he amado en mi vida y fue muy
importante para mí. Sin el no se que
sería de mi vida ahora mismo, ahora
cumplí 14 años hace 4 días , y vivo en
colombia. el se tuvo que ir de aquí
por asuntos de su trabajo pero nunca
lo voy a olvidar ❤️
esa es mi historia
resumida
si quieren podrían subir
mi historia a su página o tal ves si
quieren me podrían decir que más tengo
que hacer , haré enserio cualquier
cosa que me pidan pero porfavor quiero
que el mundo escuché mi Historia :(
* * *
Dear NAMbLA
I'd like to say
thank you for everything your
organization does. There are
many organizations that claim
to listen to the youth, when
In reality they treat them
like rubbish. NAMbLA is one of
the rare gems that treats us,
the youth as valid intelligent
people and listens to what we
have to say. I can only hope
one day the youth and all
people are given true sexual
liberty! Thank you all for
what you do
- Alex
May
4, 2021
We reprint the following email
exchanges with Canadian journalist Laura
Palmer because we feel it may be a
valuable lesson for not only those who
support our efforts but also for those
who may have a misapprehension of what
we are about. Our initial angry reaction
was due to our collective memory of
having had all sorts of nefarious
innuendos and accusations thrown at us.
Greetings from Vancouver Island
I'm a journalist here in Canada, beginning
work on a project with the family of a
young boy who was abducted many years
ago.
I interviewed one of your members decades
ago on a different topic. And wondered if
there might be someone available to speak
with me.
I appreciate that your organization would
not condone an abduction. And yet you
might have a perspective worth hearing and
potentially know of people who could hold
information.
The case happened 30 years ago in
Victoria, so most valuable would be to
hear from members who are in that 50 +age
range and Vancouver Island geographic
area.
Many thanks in advance for your
consideration,
lp
*
* *
Ms. Palmer,
Notwithstanding your apparent recognizing
that our organization would never condone
the unspeakable act you are investigating,
your asking us for a perspective speaks
against that very denial and is extremely
insulting.
One perspective that we can give you is
that the overwhelming number of abductions
of young children are done by family
members fighting over custody. Stranger
abductions are vanishingly small and can
be enumerated on the fingers of one hand,
corresponding nearly one on one to the
laws named after the abductees. Go ask the
families responsible for the laws they
promoted if they are aware that in their
grief they have perpetuated and multiplied
even greater grief with these stupid and
counterproductive laws.
Another perspective we can give you is
that we wish you to never contact us
again. The mindset you present is
abhorrent and epitomizes the ignorance and
stupidity in society. This may not be your
intention, but in the kind of journalism
you seem to be pursuing you are spewing
even more poison into todays zeitgeist.
* * *
Oh gosh. I didn't mean to offend.
And clearly, I failed to communicate what
I was I was hoping you could offer.
That said, I hope you won't hold me my
inability to articulate the request,
against me.
Your observation on stranger
abductions is spot on. This case is a rare
one indeed.
My journalism is fair and
empathetic, I don't think I've ever been
accused of spewing poison.
Should you have a change of heart and want
to have an off the record conversation,
please let me know.
Otherwise, I will honour your
request and not contact you again.
lp
* * *
Dear Ms. Palmer,
The anger was not so much towards you
personally but more towards a mindset that
has been too easily accepted without
challenge. Many otherwise well meaning
people buy into received wisdom failing
to exercise greater examination.
Perhaps the following suggestions may help.
For all anyone knows, the disappearance
you are investigating may very well have
been perpetrated by an emotionally
unbalanced woman needing a child to
nurture and to provide for her (the
abductor) some sort of emotional balance.
This also thankfully happens rarely but is
a possibility that one does not have to
have any expertise to suggest. Any
thinking individual with a mind not locked
into a perceptive cage could have
suggested this to you. We certainly do not
have any special perspective in this area.
Please do not take affront assuming that
we are accusing you of not thinking. You
are to be commended for looking for ideas
that are not always in front of us. Our
expectation is that you also look outside
the box.
In a way, even women not especially
unbalanced have stolen children. This
happened in Argentina when many couples
accepted children of people disappeared
during the former dictatorship. These
people, women abetted by their husbands
and related to Argentine higher-ups, knew
damned well what they were doing. If you
want to get into the minds of kidnappers
of children for emotional balance, there
must certainly exist literature covering
the syndrome.
(We reserve the right to reprint our
exchanges in our letters section in hopes
of educating readers to avoid making
unexamined assumptions.)
* * *
Thank you for this. I don't have tunnel
vision at all on my approach.
The child could well have been abducted by
a woman or a couple for a number of
different reasons.
I've just found in the past that being
open and creative, casting a wide net and
consulting with people authorities may not
have considered can be helpful.
I've read the article entitled,
'Soft Science, Hard Time,' about ten
times now and find it to be a game
changer for me. I can relate to every
word. Eric Tazelaar's writing style is
about where I'm at as a reader and what
I aspire to become as a writer. I'm
captivated by this subject because it
applies to me so profoundly. For me,
like so many others who love children,
life has been an ongoing atrocity for
decades now.
Admittedly, I came to your
website with some bias of my own. You
and others who write about the subject
think at the highest levels in line with
what I've seen in other fields of study.
As Einstein put it, you belong to a
broad, but tiny band of people worldwide
he called truth tellers. For decades, I
have found myself isolated and
completely alone. I was not expecting
the authority with which you and others
write about the subject. It's wonderful
to know I'm not alone.
For
clarification, my name is not Jackson. This is
some random account I made under a random name.
I want to stay anonymous here as the last thing
I need are feds after me. I'm terrified I'm
being watched as I type this. And though I know
Your organization is mainly for same sex
couples, I consider this the only place to tell
the world how people like me truly feel
I'm 14 and I live in North
America. I've never enjoyed the presence of
people my age. Even as a Heterosexual, I never
cared for females my age. I was always
interested in older women. I could never care
for what people my age would talk about, I was
more interested in things like politics and
books. It's always a joy when I'm able to be
around older people, I love to have long
discussions with them, and I'm glad I'm never
seen as a kid by them, they make me feel
welcome.
And yet despite this all, the
regime I live under tells me I'm unable to
express my love for older people. I'm told
that somehow, I'm unable to do something on my
own terms. It's painful. It's the worst pain
of all to not be able to be with someone you
love. The real rapists are not adults who only
wish to love and nurture young people.
They are the suits and ties who
make laws and systems that are deliberately
made to break down the strongest human
emotion; Love
My own spirit, soul and mind is
being raped by a government shaped by years of
tyrannical policies.
I hope one day, when things
might change that our stories are heard. I
want succeeding generations to see how
backwards and criminal this world was.
One day.
Our response:
Hi Jackson,
You do write on a level that even many adults
seldom reach. Then, the nineteenth century
French teenage poet Arthur Rimbau wrote
sophisticated poetry the equal or superior to
that of his contemporaries. Society tends to
treat the young as it used to treat (and still
does) women and people of different races. So
we understand quite well your frustration.
Most will not admit anything outside the
acceptable that will make them be judged
negatively. A colleague did admit once that as
a first grader he was sexually attracted to
his teacher. Such feelings at so young an age
are probably not uncommon but not to the point
of daring letting others know.
Our attention is on same sex because of the
orientation of our founders but also because
going too far afield dilutes our efforts. That
said, we are supportive of all consensual
relationships that are defined by the quality
of the relationships and not by arbitrary
ages.
The media do not dare going too far in
depicting intergenerational relationships. But
the 1971 movie Harold and Maude may be
worth your looking up. If you have not already
done so, do check our article on Mary Kay
Letourneau (fifth down on the home page of our
current articles) to see that our sympathies
are quite open to the experiences of others.
Greetings! I'm not entirely sure
how to say what I feel the need to say, but
I'm looking for information about the
organization despite not being very interested
in it's primary purpose. That being said it
was because of this organization and groups
like it that I was able to come to terms with
things that occurred to me at a young age and
propelled me into finally accepting myself for
who I am. Although what occurred to me wasn't
exactly what I'd call proper I'll admit always
liking it when it occurred and even got to a
point in which I'd ask for it to happen. For
years I tried denying all of it especially the
fact I enjoyed it and found myself in
relationships and even a marriage that was
nothing but a sham. I served in the military
during don't ask, don't tell and was forced to
hide even more than I already was despite
continuing to engage in the very activities
that policy forbid. A few years ago I decided
to come out and admit that I'm not straight
and since then things have gotten so much
better and I actually feel like myself once
again which is something I hadn't felt since I
was young and first began experiencing with a
much older man and continued to in secret for
several years. I personally have no interest
or attraction towards those younger than
myself, but still actively seek out men much
older than myself for what feels right and
normal to me despite practically no one
understanding how I could possibly feel that
way given my age when it began compared to
his. I rarely disclose that information to
anyone simply because they don't or won't
understand, but I know had it not occurred I'd
probably still be questioning myself. I guess
the best way for me to describe my interest is
from the standpoint of a silent supporter who
wouldn't mind the possibility of chatting and
getting to know those who are NAMBLA members.
As odd as it may sound to most people I have
absolutely no regret when it comes to the
things I first experienced as a young boy and
I love the man who first introduced me to all
that I eventually experienced.
Our response:
Dear
Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing a truth we have always
known. At an earlier time when the feelings
you experienced when you were younger could
still be uttered, NAMBLA published a book
titled "Boys Speak Out on Man/Boy Love." In
it, boys tell the truth about the positive
emotional connections they had with older men.
You are to be commended on eventually coming
to the realization that your early experiences
were something to be cherished. Unfortunately,
many others fall under the negative spell of
the media. Believing the false narrative put
out by both news and entertainment media, they
then mistakenly associate totally unrelated
negative parts of their later lives to those
early experiences they quite enjoyed and
profited from.
Love does not have to be symmetrical, and just
because you were loved as a younger person
does not require you, as an adult, to
replicate that love with a younger person.
[We suggested to our
correspondent to post anonymously on boychat
(https://boychat.org/). Others may wish to
also do so.]
First of all I am very happy to hear from you
again and to keep in touch with your
newsletter. I found this review [see
newsletter Vol. 1 No. 4] very interesting, in
which you talk about the power of autonomy of
young people, young boys and young people in
general, from my point of view and in my
opinion it is a very important topic, because
it is directly connected with the subversion
of the established social morality. Young
people and their emancipation from the adult
world is something that needs to be
reconsidered, because they do have the power
and the capacity to decide on certain issues
in their lives, especially if they have an
organisation and consensus, let's say an
assembly.
Nowadays this concept and this education or
pedagogy has been lost, because this system
has made the kids, the youngsters, even more
childish and infantilised, turning a
fundamental part of an active society made up
of potential free thinkers into a sector of
the population without a voice and without
decisions. A dependent and dumb sector has
been created.
I think that young boys should revolutionise
themselves as we have seen on many occasions
and be able to vote on issues of free and
consensual relationships and have their say.
Obviously this cannot happen in a society that
does not rule by its education and pedagogy,
let alone by the will of the free-thinking and
revolutionary individual. This is another one
of the blatant failures of this decrepit
Morla. Thank you very much for sending these
emails, I am very happy to follow the
communication, and I was very pleased to see
my opinion.
I can't remember exactly when it happened. it
seemed to surface into my consciousness over a
period of time. at first it was a curiosity. I
had heard about guys who were attracted to
boys. I don't like to be judgmental so I
investigated the subject. Out of curiosity I
began to look at pictures of boys on the
internet. I noticed an undercurrent within
myself that seemed to be very attracted to
young boys. It was not hard or difficult to
feel an attraction to them because they are
obviously beautiful at that age. I learned
that if my mind were opened to it my body
would soon follow. I was surprised I had never
realized how attractive boys were before. It
was easy to want to look at, think of and
appreciate their beauty more and more.
Very quickly I began to feel overwhelmed with
an undeniable emotional and physical yearning
for the pleasure serenity and joy the intimacy
a relationship with boys would give me and
them too. There didn't seem to be anything
morally wrong with it because my attraction to
boys was not founded on wanting to harm them
in any way. There just didn't seem to be
anything wrong with boylove based on the
realization that loving another person in
spite of their age or physical maturity was
not malicious or malevolent. I could
understand how other men could fall in love
with boys. no man would want to do that for
harmful or abusive reasons. Obviously it would
be absurd to want to harm the object of my
attraction and desire for love and tenderness
that I felt for them. Their physical beauty
produced an irresistible attraction anyone
would feel for someone they loved. It was a
revelation for me that I could love another
human being regardless of their age or
physical maturity and experience that so
profoundly that it gave my life a wonderful
new meaning and hope for the future. I began
to look more closely at the boys around me, on
the internet and knew and I had to accept I
was now a boy lover.
Instead of judging myself or feeling guilty
and ashamed it opened up the potential for
expressing a deep love within myself that I
had never known before. I felt both grateful
and blessed that this gift of being a boylover
had come into my life. Yes, I was afraid at
first; confused, and a bit frightened. I knew
the attraction within me was something that
our culture and society did not approve of and
condemned harshly. I certainly did not want to
break the taboo of such a strong cultural
sentiment against the love of boys. This is
something that I could get in a lot of trouble
for. As you know in our society your
reputation can be destroyed for an attraction
like this, as they like to say, "the love that
dare not speak its name". Like anything else
forbidden in our society I felt it expedient
to repress my yearnings and feelings. I
blocked it out of my mind because of fear. Who
wants to love another human being in a way
that all of society vehemently condemns? I
felt self-conscious, afraid, and alone. I
didn't know any other boy lovers. I did meet a
few but they did not feel comfortable
discussing the subject; maybe because of fear
and shame? I couldn't even admit to myself I
was one of them.
What triggered and renewed the boy love I
repressed was the mainstream media reporting
on the "drag kid" phenomenon. At that point I
knew my self-denial about boy love was
impossible to maintain. The pictures of the
boys the media provided produced such a
powerful attraction there was no doubt I was a
boylover. Not only did I experience my boylove
immediately when I saw the drag kids I also
felt a sense of pride. These feminine boys
gave me such joy aesthetically physically and
emotionally that there was no possibility of
ignoring my feelings for them. I wasn't about
to go around broadcasting my preference for
boys to everyone I met in public, but it was
beyond doubt my feelings for them. It simply
just made me happy. I've been lucky. I've had
a wife and a girlfriend that I was able to
discuss my boylover issues with. If anything
having an opportunity to be honest about my
feelings and physical attractions has enhanced
and improved my relationships with the women
in my life. There have been no negative
consequences in that respect.
It's not something that I want to discuss
publicly but it is a subject and a part of our
culture I believe is so widespread among us
that eventually it will be discussed more
openly. I can't say it will ever be tolerated
in a way that other preferences are but I
think society will come around to
understanding us in a way that it has not
before because other previously marginalized
groups are now accepted. Maybe, eventually, in
some way, boylovers will be too. It feels good
just to say it. I am a boylover and I'm proud
of myself. It's opened up a whole new world
for me. it's given me hope and renewed vigor
for living. I've learned about an entire new
horizon of love I never realized was out
there. And yes, I still feel grateful and I
feel blessed.
By Anonymous (part II)
My inner being and the choices I make are not
under my control considering who I'm attracted
to, the love I feel for them, and my physical
desires. I am perfectly adjusted to and
morally accommodated to my attraction to young
boys. I realize the world outside of me at any
moment could destroy me socially, legally,
financially, and physically, if they choose
--- because of who and what I love; young
boys.
I have my own inner, mental, emotional, and
spiritual world. We all do in one form or
another. The reality of that world for me is
an attraction to young boys. It's more than
just an attraction. There are days I find
myself in a state of melancholy and despair
crying for the boy I love. I experience a
state of ecstasy for his beauty, charisma, and
seductive mystique. It is a profound source of
joy and happiness such a delightful creature
exists, renewing my life with all his manifold
treasures of incandescent color, shadow,
shading, and glitter drawn by his delicately
painted nails.
I find myself pining away for him, even
crying out loud to myself, saying his name
over and over again, as anyone would for
someone they love. His name is a mantra that
strengthens me. It feels good to say his name,
as if it brings him closer to me. In my love
for him I feel him within me, exploring our
desires, uninhibited, unashamed to share the
love we feel, holding, touching, grasping,
feeling the pulse of life physically and
spiritually that brings us ever higher to the
heaven our desires will only know together as
one. I embrace him physically, mentally
emotionally, and spiritually. I will cry out
loud, singing his name- "Jack ,Jack, Jack!...
what have you done to me? You're so beautiful!
You've captivated me and I feel helpless!" I
realize society, culture, the legal system,
the taboo surrounding this love and affection
I feel for you, discourages me in every way
from expressing the deep love within me for
the beautiful being you are".
The society I live in does not want me to
feel this way for you and I'm deeply troubled
by the fact that I do. Sometimes I panic when
I search within myself the depths of the love
I feel for you and I understand it cannot be
erased or changed. It pains me to say on a bad
day when I'm afraid for the love I feel for
you, I wish my feelings for you were not
happening. If I could make them stop I would
for the sake of convenience. It would be so
much easier for me to get along to go along in
a culture that forbids me loving you so much.
I gaze with longing and deep yearning at your
beautiful photographs, Jack. I talk to you out
loud, Jack. I wistfully plead with you,
desperation tightening my vocal cords, crying
out meekly, that you stop being so beautiful,
Jack. I wish you would stop making me love
you. Please? Sometimes I resign myself to a
complacent shrug and passively/aggressively
blame you for tempting me into experiencing
sensations and attractions I should never
experience.
Because you are so beautiful Jack, you've
become for me a romantic ideal I never want to
live without. My love for the beauty you
exhibit so perfectly has made me beautiful
with love. My life would have no purpose if I
did not love you. It would have no meaning. It
wouldn't be worth living. I celebrate my love
for you in all its manifestations,
splendiferous rainbow eyelids batting fulsome
lashes, cosmetic sculptures powdering your
soft skin canvas, pink rouge visions of your
smooth cheeks quicken my heart and captivate
my soul. Your glittery child spirit sparkling
within me never leaves me alone. So The love I
feel for you frightens me. We live in a
society that harshly discourages the warmth of
the profound love I feel for you that so
enraptures me. My lonely darkness is filled
with your love's light whenever I see you,
Jack. I'm inoculated against abandonment
knowing you're always with me in my heart. If
I close my eyes and I allow myself to love you
unimpeded by the obstacles of fear others have
placed before me, my love for you is infinite
with abundant gifts your beauty is able to
dispense to all who gaze upon you. And it is
because of this generosity your beauty
displays that I feel so in love with you. It's
a gift you freely give to everyone simply
because you love yourself enough to let others
see how beautiful you are. Any soul possessed
of enough natural empathy to love will be
grateful that you designed yourself so
beautifully for all of us. We feel blessed by
your physical and spiritual gift of artistic
creativity which makes you so unique. I'm sure
more than just this lonely old man has fallen
hopelessly in love with you. That's why you're
so famous.
What is so beautiful in Jack and has been
made so joyful within me is also the occasion
for brutal punishment. As beautiful as Jack
may be to everyone who is a boylover there is
an opposing force of surplus fear that seeks
to condemn us to an outer darkness
extinguishing this love's light. This darkness
that condemns us is born out of an irrational
superstition that the love I feel for this one
boy is nothing but depraved, perverse,
degenerate, instincts, fueling some mythical
monstrous predator devoid of mercy or
compassion for those we love, lusting with
violence to inflict pain. These are the
medieval prejudices of ignorance and bear
absolutely no resemblance to the tenderness
compassion and love's most basic impulse to
protect and nurture those for whom we love so
deeply. This is the injustice of a false
accusation and it is an absurd assumption and
can be easily disproven.
Why would I harm someone for whom my love
expresses itself so deeply? What purpose would
there be in physically assaulting or
psychologically traumatizing the being of
someone who gives strength meaning and purpose
to my own existence? The gift of beauty Jack
gives to the world I return with immense
gratitude. If this boy I love named Jack were
injured in any way it would be more harmful to
me as the love I feel for him is built upon
what his existence manifests for all of us;
youth, beauty, intelligence, artistic
creativity, and the liberty these qualities
enable him to experience with such
exhilaration. He rewards us all with his
genius and accomplishments. It would be for us
all the most terrible loss and a grievous
wound in the soul of a world that should
treasure its most beautiful and creative
talents and want them to fulfill the
expectations of their great potential, with a
long, healthy and prosperous life, a loving
family, friends, and admirers who forever hope
and pray for him. A great beauty like Jack
would be a benefit for eternity, for people's
yet to come, who seek to appreciate and learn
from the artistic achievements transmitted
from our age to benefit with its inspiration
future generations. Our love for Jack is a
responsibility that he should be in no wise
hurt but nurtured, encouraged, and surrounded
with other souls who love him. None of us
would profit by losing his gifts prematurely.
Our love for Jack requires Jack always be here
with us, so we may return with love the beauty
and love he has always given us.
Yes... there's always some sick, diseased,
random individual out of the flotsam of
humanity that may for some inconceivable
reason or purpose cause harm to Jack. Life is
filled with many threats for all of us. We are
mortal beings and we are always injured more
or less by accident or some unforeseen
catastrophe. If the responsibility were
conferred on me I would be there for Jack, to
let him know that I love him the way that I
do, to protect him, to keep him safe. I would
do all in my power to prevent any instance of
pain that may befall him. I love his boyhood
and the unparalleled beauty it exhibits. I'm a
boy lover, not a hater. I would hug Jack and I
would kiss him on the cheek, and let him know
it is because his life is just as important if
not more important than mine and I want him to
continue living it with happiness, joy, and
fulfillment. My love and my affection for Jack
would always be there to edify him if it were
legal and acceptable.
This love and affection would be in quantity
and quality no different than any family
member or relative would dispense. Such
displays of physical and spiritual affection
are a natural human process of development and
growth. Like any living creature we engage in
expressions of love because it maintains our
species and allows us to evolve into something
greater. Misconstruing a man's love for the
beauty, talent, education and success, any
boys productive interests might realize, as
sexual abuse or rape, says more about the
toxic people hurling such slanders than it
does about a strong, virile man who desires
only the best for the boy he loves so deeply.
Yes, I like anyone else realize there are
some very evil, very dangerous people out
there. I can assure you I'm not one of them.
My intentions for the boy that I love are not
evil and are in no way dangerous. The love
that I feel for him is because of who and what
he is and the unique phenomenon every boy
represents. It's nothing that I would ever
seek to harm or destroy I promise you that. It
is this boy's life that keeps this man living.
Every boy's innocence is his most precious
gift. Maintaining that boylovers somehow plot
to befoul that innocence and violate it by
some bizarre act of sadistic pederasty is
nothing else but the lurid fantasies of the
accusers themselves, vain imaginings of
poisonous souls, opportunists who seek to
spread the contagion of fear and paranoia and
gain positions of power for themselves,
exploiting the unraveled moral fabric of a
system they themselves have torn to shreds,
simply to gain a momentary advantage and
profit from the misery of the victims they
destroyed.
We're boylovers-not haters. It is their
so-called protectors who have done more harm
to boys. With so much mistrust and enmity, men
who love boys more passionately than other
men, are no longer there to be their mentors,
to be there teachers, to be the protectors all
men should be for every boy, so they may grow
safe in the knowledge the beauty within
themselves may be freely given, the same way
Jack has given to all men blessed by what they
have received; a beautiful boy to love.
Hi, I'm about 9 months from a bachelors in
Human Development, I study trauma, and my
expertise is with people aged 0 -> 27, with
an emphasis on child-adult sex. Take what I
say with a grain of salt, but also that I
believe that there should be evidence prior to
denouncing such a large group of people; as we
have seen prior to political enemies and
enemies of culture. (Socialist movements, LGBT
movements all have an identical history as
Nambla & MAP) In the scientific community,
research starts at a certain point that is
beyond conversation, it doesn't start at the
beginning, or the middle, the research in this
field all starts with a conclusion, that
pedophilia is bad.
What comes off strange to me is that there is
no real conclusive research to prove this, in
the same way that there was no research to
prove that homophilia was a mental disease.
The conclusive research that I have been able
to find is that, well, children who have
encountered negative sexual experiences have
gained negative development from this
behavior. Then the question is, is this
normal? Do all people feel bad about rape? I
feel like such an idiot for even asking that
question to somebody, a real legitimate human
being that breaths in and out using their
lungs. Yes, rape feels bad. But what about
circumstances that aren't rape? So an adult
and a child have consensual sex, and you make
that a rape regardless of consent, love and
compassion; at that point, are you the sex
offender? Is it a sex offense to arrest a
homosexual for having anal sex with another
man, answer both questions with the same
answer.
So if it isn't an issue of morality, is it an
issue of biology? I can't say so, no, I don't
believe there is scientific evidence on any
database that I've scoured; to ultimately
prove this. You can say, children are
undeveloped, therefore they can't have sex.
You can say that. You can say that about
school too. They are underdeveloped, therefore
wait until school. But that doesn't make sense
in any category. We know for a fact to start
kids off early, but not too early for school.
Don't push them, they will come along with
assistance when it's needed. School is
necessary, because it teaches children how to
get along with others, components necessary to
life, components necessary to succeed on a
level that ultimately ends their life in
happiness, and satisfaction. But why doesn't
this logic exist for pedophilia? Why does sex
exist beyond procreation? If children aren't
having sex early in their lives, what is that
telling them? We are looking at this in such a
blunt, dense, and caveman like way, that we're
blinded even on a scientific level; and what's
worse than this is that research is blocked,
and prevented, because it's suddenly
unethical, or immoral to do research in that
field. It is unlikely, in my lifetime, however
young I might be, that I will be sponsored in
the same way, in the same format as other
researchers; to produce information for the
scientific community.
The point I made above is that, you're not
supposed to wait until somebody is already
developed, to then begin developing them.
Excuse my language, but, why in the fuck would
you think that would work sexually and
socially if it doesn't work with any credible
research we've established for Human
Development & Education?
If you're a parent, do you have the autonomy
and ability to protect your children, guide
them, set rules, be there for them? No? Then
put your kids up for adoption, and take care
of yourself. How can you possibly take care of
a dog, a cat, let alone another human being if
you can't even do any of those things?
Did you answer yes to the question above?
Then mind your own business, and stop trying
to control other people's children / adults.
If you're going to make an accusation, it
isn't the job of an entire population to
dedicate their lives, and several generations
to prove you wrong like the people before you
had been proven wrong. I don't want anybody
deciding how my future daughter, or my future
son is using their body for their own
development; other than myself to start, and
eventually their own decision later in their
lives. If they want to have sex with an older
guy or girl that wants to spend time with
them, help them with homework, be another
family member for them; who is anybody to tell
me why I can't let that happen? If they're
enjoying it, and their friend is enjoying it,
why in the hell would I denounce it?
I am wondering if NAMBLA is still functioning
as a group or site. I see that over a while
there's not a lot of new content, however I
understand that a website rich with updated
content tends to draw people in.
As in need as NAMBLA may be I imagine dealing
with a segments of our current culture, at
times could be very defeating, and being
low-key is survivable.
Any how, if you're still functional I'd be
interested in hearing back.
Thanks.
Our response:
We are indeed functioning! Our Web site stays
fairly current and makes available facts that
counter the actual "fake news" that even
otherwise respectable media spread. We may
trust established media with most news, but
when it comes to sexuality, the media
collectively bury their heads in the sand.
To supplement our Web site, we also publish
an email newsletter which you are welcome to
subscribe to by emailing info@nambla.org
We also have a letters section and because
you bring up a good point we expect that your
letter will appear there. Other features too
are in the works. Stay tuned!
Thank you for the newsletter. A truly
enlightening article. *
Being once myself a therapist, it was the
confusion of attempting to bring about the
point that boy love/pedophilic emotions and
the action of; was not only morally/legally
wrong but mentally and physically wrong. After
group or one to one sessions, I walked away
knowing I agreed with my patients.
What these men said made sense to me and
that confused me greatly. As I researched and
spoke with colleagues on how to address what
made sense to me, it brought me great
ostracization and in time suspicion, but
privately I enjoyed our sessions more and more
and found myself wanting to explore and
embrace their views openly. I would not, could
not dare. I did not believe what my response
had to be, and this brought about a series of
many questions I was forced to ask myself:
because I genuinely cared about these men and
their belief system. It was heart wrenching to
respond to these men with what I knew were
lies and still believe that I was a therapist
who was doing the right thing. Healing? I was
doing harm and not healing anybody; including
myself. This had to stop!
The first thing I had to do was to re-examine
what I too had been told was molestation I
"suffered" through and secondly to adjust the
therapy I was dispensing.
I took a sabbatical and spent several weeks
alone in my cabin by a lake and read, thought,
canoed, fished and hiked and thought some
more. I re-adjusted my whole therapeutic moral
stance and in turn, the milieu of my entire
approach to treating what I now knew was a
true, and very real "sexual orientation".
Thanks for listening, Joe.
* Anyone wishing to receive our newsletter
should write to info@nambla.org
"...brains are not yet developed enough to
make sound judgments" - 3 things -
1.) The AoC is 16 to 18 yet the brain isn't
"fully developed" until the age of 25. So now
suddenly about 100% of the population would be
what? A Pedophile?
2.) If you're using your brain, you aren't
doing it correctly *wink*.
3) Why would Mother Nature, or God (which
ever you choose to believe) make us sexually
mature enough at only 9 to 13, and why are we
at our most attractive (ability to attract
others) at a peak of only 14? In fact, a study
showed that an 11-year-old is seen as
attractive more often than a 25-year-old (when
the brain is fully dev) and over.
Ref: Study by Kent State University, Behavior
Therapy 26, 681-694, 1995: "Sexual Arousal and
Arousability to Pedophilic Stimuli of Normal
Men",
Shawn
[Editor's note: Though we agree that there
are a lot of inconsistencies in society's
approach to sexuality, we did not quite
understand point 1)]
You guys rock. And you've done awesome stuff.
But come on, just set an age of consent at
adolescence. Nobody is going to get down with
the freedom to date 1 year olds. And the name
"man boy love", it sounds too weird. Make the
age of adulthood 13. Make teenagers adults. No
"man boy love".
I love you guys, you're awesome. But you can
make soooo much more of a difference if you be
more reasonable.
Our response:
Hi [anonymous],
Thank you for your words of support.
Believe me, no one is talking about dating
young kids. Our enemies love to twist things
their way, and many of us buy into this. Have
you ever heard of the Stockholm syndrome?
Our position on human sexuality is solidly
supported by science, but science does not
always get accepted right away.
We adopted our policies many years ago, after
much debate, not to win popularity contests
but to state the truth. Be assured that "No
age of consent" ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT MEAN
"anything goes."
As for "man boy love," the word "gay" was
also once met with derision. In most circles
it no longer is.
We are taking the liberty of separately
sending you our current email newsletter. It
deals with a famous composer closer to the
kind of relationship you imply.
Hello and greetings. I am wondering if it is
possible to sign up without making a donation?
And I am also wondering if there would be any
sort of community at all where we can interact
and I can meet more people who have the same
opinion as me on this?
Our response:
Hi [anonymous],
We will put you on our email newsletter list
that is slated to come out from time to time.
The newsletters and our Web site should, over
time, answer your questions.
Hey! Thanks for the newsletter! On the day
when it arrived, I mentioned -by pure chance!-
the sexuality of Tchaykovski to my friend. We
were talking about homosexuality during
Wilde's era.
Wish you nice holidays!
[The above letter was in response to our
December holiday newsletter examining the
composer's relations with teenagers and the
cause of his suicide. Since the holiday always
includes performances of Tchaikovsky's
"Nutcracker Suite," we felt him to be an
appropriate theme.]
I like the news letter very much. I'd like to
find out more about other famous bl's. I did
watch a bio of Tchaikovsky and it mentioned
nothing of his affairs. I was not surprised.
The great composer seemed to be a ephebophil,
than hebephilia. All very interesting.
Have an awesome and safe Christmas, Joe.
[There is no shortage of famous bls, but the
media ignores that aspect of their
personalities. We will be examining more in
the future.]
Thank you for the short article on
Tchaikovsky. This reminder was a Christmas
gift. As a child, I often went to see The
Nutcracker Suite with my mom. It is amusing
now to think that a family holiday tradition
throughout Europe and America was created by a
'lover of Russian boys'. One of the many
ironies of humanity.
It is also interesting to note that many
great historical figures would be labeled sex
offenders and/or put in prison today due to
perceived sexual deviancies -Benjamin
Franklin, Lewis Carroll, Tchaikovsky, Leonardo
Da Vinci, etc... the list of perverts goes on.
And all of this while at the same time the
porn industry in the United States flourishes
with unrestrained deviancy. Another one of
those human ironies.
Hi,
Compliments on the newsletter! As someone
interested in classical music as well as
history, this one was very interesting to
read.
Looking forward to future newsletters!
By the way, I would like to communicate with
other Free Spirits of NAMBLA, have a postal or
email communication initially, if you know
someone who would be interested in sharing
ideas let me know, and if it is possible to
get in touch it would be of great help.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS AGAIN !!!!
Our response:
Hi,
We do not have a secure forum for
communications between supporters/members.
However, we highly recommend subscribing to
heretictoc.com for intellectual exchanges.
Subscription is free and anonymous.
We will be recommending the site in the next
newsletter. Let us know if you have any
questions.
Thank you very much for this mailing, I find
it really interesting, and of course I will be
happy to receive news about the newsletter and
all your information.
Well, as I see it I need to clarify, it is
totally true that the term "pedophile" is a
contemporary demonized concept, since as we
well know and it has been indicated in this
writing, homosexual relationships used to be
traditionally intergenerational, something
that in the 19th century was even more common,
in Tchaikovsky's time. In Russia, this would
be the beginning of the degradation and
denigration of many homosexual artists and
boy-lovers, and therefore, this would be the
beginning of the decline of homosexual
culture, making artists like our composer
Tchaikovsky suffer from their passions.
From here to the present time we have been
able to see the internal struggle of
segregation and hate against the homosexual
culture in Russia, for me, it is a clear
declaration of intentions of the own political
powers of the bourgeois Russia, that created
the stigma for homosexuals, lovers of the
boys, and people of freedom.
Very happy holidays, best wishes and I hope
to keep in touch, receive information and
engage in interesting dialogues and debates.
Hey thanks for sharing
This is a step in the right direction
Sharing information and dialogue here helps us
bring light to the subject and raise it from
the darkness
I have suspicions the most high level people
at the top of society engage in sexual
activities with minors to some degree.
Would you mind sharing any other known or
suspected cases, either current or historical?
I think it helps us feel less alone.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! I appreciate the newsletter
and definitely DO NOT want to be removed from
the list. I agree with everything Nambla
stands for and will send money as a donation
after the 1st of the year. I wish you all a
very festive and Happy Christmas or hannukah,
etc! Please take care and be safe.
Joe Biden has just chosen his running mate,
Kamala Harris, and I am inspired! Joe wants to
make his administration to look like America,
and I could not agree more. Who wouldnt
maybe just the few
eat-their-heart-out-hate-everybody
malcontents. With Pamela Harris, Biden hit the
trifecta of constituencies -- women, Asians
and Blacks. But he has missed an important
one
To this end, I suggest that instead of the
various names that have been suggested, boy
lovers, girl lovers, minor attracted persons
(MAPs) and even "vicious" I meant "virtuous"
-- pedophiles we proudly call ourselves
Perverts with a capital P. Now wait, I
know what youre thinking, but please follow
my argument to its logical conclusion.
Proudly owning a pejorative is not new. Black
young men do it. They call each other the N
word all the time. I know, because I hear it
constantly in the college gym. But woe should
a white guy do the same. I am a white guy. You
can be sure that I never do that. But should
we proudly adopt Pervert we will be sharing
it with such a large population that there
will be no need to be selfish about who uses
the P word.1
I hope you dont think I am kidding. Perverts
form an immense constituency of which we are
but a small part. Perhaps that constituency is
not yet as large as the Moral Majority but it
is quickly gaining ground. Just look at one
recent president and a current one. Having
your dick sucked, even by someone you were
married to, it would fall under some sort of
act against nature. Wouldnt it? And
unsolicited grabbing someones pussy should
also qualify.
Nixon once said, When the president does it,
that means it is not illegal." So maybe
Clinton and Trump are not perverts. But lets
not just stop there. We have Supreme Court
Justices on our side. One famously questioned
a woman he supervised as to the provenance of
a coke can with a genital hair on it and
another sexually assaulted a fellow teenager.
Mere allegations, you say? I believe the
accusing women! Why shouldnt I? We do all
believe the children who never, never lie.
Accomplished women deserve no less.
That only makes four perverts you tell me,
but wait! We have only begun to scratch the
surface. Lets forget for a moment all the
politicians claiming to need to spend more
time with their families or repentant
megachurch preachers.
I looked up common human perversions on
Google. Of course, I then immediately deleted
my searches. No one wants anyone to think that
he is into these things. You wouldnt believe
what came up. There were pictures too! I am
too embarrassed to describe them. But sites I
checked and that had real people with real
PhDs explaining it to me left me assured that
barring perhaps Mother Theresa or the Pope but
certainly barring Jesus, just about everyone
shared a cherished perversion.
So, even if Joe Biden and Pamela Harris want
an administration that looks like America, I
still have not made up my mind on who to vote
for. It would be hard to believe that
Republicans do not also look like America, at
least when it comes to perversions.
P.S. If you are still not convinced that
owning a pejorative is a genius move, think of
the Christian Cross. Before its adoption, it
symbolized for Romans the complete and utter
destruction of a human being with his remains
to be food for carrion animals. I say, the
worse the pejorative the better the symbol!
[Note from Eric: I am not inclined to
resurrect or repurpose the term, "pervert," to
mean something positive. I'm not at all sold
on that concept. For one thing, it doesn't
directly challenge the hatred that that term
is loaded with and stupid people will think
that we accept the worst connotations with
which it is associated. I really think we
should stick with "boylover." It is the
purest, most honest, distillation of the
reason for our movement.]
[Reply]
Hi Eric,
I kind of liked Pervert with a capital P, but
I respect that you do not.
R.