Personal Experience
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Letters From Our Readers
submitted to the NAMBLA Bulletin
Thrilled and Excited

Dear NAMBLA,

I was so thrilled and excited when I discovered that your organization existed that I could barely contain my enthusiasm.  I will become a member, and I will contribute as much as my finances allow.  I would also like to submit some of my own stories and experiences to the Bulletin.  I hope that NAMBLA will grow in size and bring to light a boy love lifestyle that is often wrongly looked upon as illegal and morally wrong.

I am 20 years old and have known about my attraction to younger boys since I was 14.  I don't like being called sick or demented.  I don't like that people don't understand the beauty in what I want.  I have often wondered if I was weird or sick in my desires.  I really feel for the men jailed for loving a young boy.

So many people in this country and all over the world have the same feelings as I.  It's just a different kind of love.  I, like other human beings, have certain principles in my life.  We all have learned limits for our behavior with our lovers.  But it seems that our love of boys is nevertheless so misunderstood that we are considered nothing more than common criminals and perverts.  I would love to stand up to the American public.  It has no idea that boy-lovers are normal people with a code of ethics as high as their own, and sometimes higher.

The American public has the notion that boys have sex only when they are 18 years old and not before.  Why are boys biologically capable of becoming fathers when they are ten, 11, or 12 years old but are legally forbidden to have sex in many states until they turn 18?  In my culture, a Native American boy is expected to have sex and start a family at the time of puberty.  In many African cultures, the same.  How can two of the oldest cultures in the world be "wrong" in their traditions?  They have had these traditions for generations and have prospered.

-- Texas

From: NAMBLA Bulletin, Vol. 13, No. 8, Pg. 9, Oct 1992.


Youth In Pain

Dear Editor,

I often feel I cannot take it anymore, and just want to give up.  I see a beautiful boy walking down the street, in the mall, or even some of my little brothers' friends, and the pain starts up.  It's an indescribable pain of loneliness.  I don't feel anything can cure the hurting, but maybe the mutual love of a boy.  I fear that this is not possible, for I live in a land full of hatred and bigotry, where what I want to do is wrong or bad.  Why does this have to be?  I do not know why I am gay or a (hopeful) lover of boys; I'm not sure anyone does.  I do know I was born this way (or some- where close to birth).  You say there is nothing wrong with loving boys, and I agree, but why is it illegal?  Why do they want to warp everyone's minds?  It's not fair, but there's nothing I can do about it.

I just turned 17 this past June, and have my whole life ahead of me, but I see no future, just an empty void of despair and grief.  I guess I lived most of my life that way.  In my earlier years I had to deal with an alcoholic father abusive to my mother, and I had to deal with a child- molesting (not loving) uncle.  Most people think the worst is behind me, but the future doesn't seem any brighter.  I am what I am, gay and a boy-lover.  I realize that I cannot change, but if I can't change it, then I'll have to make the best of it, right?  Wrong!  How am I suppose to live with it when no boy will ever want me?

They say just smile at a boy and see what happens, you'll be surprised.  Sometimes I get so nervous, I forget to smile.  The most that I ever got were either some nasty looks or crude remarks, and then the pain starts up, as if just seeing a nice looking boy didn't hurt enough.  Rejection triples the hurt.

I must admit that joining NAMBLA was probably the only right thing I've done, and that has eased some of the hurt and confusion.

-- California

From: NAMBLA Bulletin, Vol. 14, No. 4, Pg. 10, May 1993.  

Feeling Better

Hello,

I'm so glad I found you, NAMBLA.  I never thought an organization such as yours could legally exist, yet here you are, demonstrating the freedom of the press in this narrow-minded America.

Since I discovered NAMBLA, I felt so relieved to know that there are so many others out there like me.  I have finally come to terms with my sexuality.  I am 23 now and I finally feel comfortable with myself.

Since I discovered NAMBLA, I want to shout out to the world that I'm a boy-lover, and proud of it.  People may try to suppress me, but no one will ever break me.

I want to be more than a NAMBLA member.  I want to be a working part of it.  I urge all others to do the same.  We must not let our cause fail.

Stand up!  Be proud and persist!

-- Washington

From: NAMBLA Bulletin, Vol. 13, No. 2, Pgs. 10 - 11, March 1992.

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